Am I wrong for not wanting to talk in depth after an argument?

[MrsTawdry]

If DH and I argue...which isn't very often...I don't want to sit and dissect it all afterwards....I want to forget it and move on.

The rows are rarely about the same thing so it's nothing recurring....I don't see the need to talk over a petty squabble.

He wants to find out about what went wrong and where...he wants to advise me on how I could approach the situation next time and he wants me to advise him too.

I get so tired...I don't want to talk about it all. It's gone...in the past. Time to move on. Am I wrong?

His approach is probably very healthy and correct but, god, it would get on my tits. Sounds so earnest.

Oh I'm the same. DH is given to fucking navel gazing introspection but I think he's given up now.

Does he know that you feel like this? He may be punishing you for disagreeing with him.

I agree with your dh approach. Surely if it's what he needs to make sense of things then why not just have the conversation ..........

Vivacia he thinks I'm being mean...sort of punishing him by not helping him get over it. He likes to talk...air it out...come to a conclusion...when I do, the conversation meanders and we end up talking about unrelated things anyway!

Quite because following a row I am usually in need of quiet and space.

Oh I really understand your need for quiet and space!! Me too. BUT - He does have a point. Could you agree to come back to the issue the next day, or 3 hours later or something like that, to figure out better ways to go forward? Maybe take a long walk alone, and talk when you get back?

Is it really his way of not letting it drop and hoping to prove that actually he was right?

My emotionaly abusive exH used to do this, it was a way of continuance, of making him feel that he was supposedly the 'reasonable one' .. and it became another form of controlling and cutting me off from others ..and of reinforcing the idea that it was 'just me' who was being difficult , unreasonable and controlling by protesting , not him. (it carried on until it became more than emotionaly abusive and I managed to finally leave ) .

I do hope OP that this is not the same for you .. if it does feel like this to you, then you need to think about your options

Peacock I don't think so....he acknowledges where he was wrong in an argument. It's not all him blaming me or anything.

My DH is like you, I'm like your Dh, but only after a period of time for reflection and to cool down.

Things aren't dealt with in an argument, there's too much emotion involved.

Arguments happen for a reason, if you don't find out why and both understand each other and reach a proper compromise then you'll have the same old argument over and over again. Lots of couples seem to fall into that trap.

We just had another chat and it was far better. He gets so emotional that he feels insecure I think. I reckon he's after me telling him I love him etc right after the row...but I'm not like that.