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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Objective advice needed please

6 replies

Boringusername · 29/01/2015 12:29

Massive communication issues have plagued our relationship for the past year. We argue every day and have started to view I'm in a very dim light and he is angry at me for thinking he's a narcissistic womanising so and so. We have two small childrens and being at home while he works away has really been hard on me. Some days is like to pack up and leave but then I tell myself the infant years are the hardest and to bit the bullet. We are not friends anymore and there is little companionship.

I've recently started daydreaming about my ex and wondered what that would have been like. I disclosed all sordid details to him the other day about how I'm feeling and I don't know whether this crossed a line. We didn't break up for any other reason other than it was a relationship which turned into a long distance one. This was many years ago.

I've tried to work on our relationship but he feels I'm always in a attack mode so he shuts down and only talks about practical hints these days.
I feel like I'm going out of my mind with resentment and frustration at not being able to work past this.

Anyone else struggled in this way? Am I being disrespectful by talking to ex? Ex and I have remained good friends and we do chat about our lives and relationships but this time I feel in a way it's been a reeling to get things off my chest as I've no one else to talk to in RL.

Thanks

OP posts:
Boringusername · 29/01/2015 12:30

Sorry about typos I'm on phone

OP posts:
Boringusername · 29/01/2015 12:43

I've just realised how whiny I sound. I'm in my late 30s fgs!

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intlmanofmystery · 29/01/2015 12:59

You should be talking to your husband not your ex. If you can't do it directly then do so through a relationship counsellor. Your first paragraph hit home to me as my exW was exactly the same, constantly on the attack no matter how trivial. It didn't end well...

RunnerHasbeen · 29/01/2015 13:07

Is he a womanising narcissist? Or is that just you lashing out at him? Your post implies you are the one dissatisfied with your life, starting fights and keeping your romantic options open - how hard are you really trying?

It sounds like you need to fix your own life, work if you hate being at home, get a social life and some RL support, don't expect him to be everything for you.

Boringusername · 29/01/2015 13:21

Thanks for the replies.

We had a few life events where he was less than supportive and it changed my view.

I'm not sounding very nice am I.

My life is solely based around our families needs and this is just the way it has to be right now and yes I feel utterly unappreciated in every front hence the resentment I feel towards him. Terribly way to live I agree.

OP posts:
Boringusername · 29/01/2015 13:24

He used to be a big flirt but not these days since family life happened. He is quite self absorbed /blinked but not selfish if that is understandable.

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