Feel so wrong

[ACSlater]

Right.

My ex left me for the "other woman". She could not give a crap about our kids.

Somehow I'm now the other woman.

I know he's a total knobber but part of me wants to stick it to her for stealing my man

WTF do I do?!

She didn't steal him. He chose to run off with her. Direct your anger towards him.

She has no obligation towards your kids. They aren't hers. Does he give a crap about your (his) kids?

Stop dripfeeding for a start.

Do you mean that he is knobbing you again now?

Probably not!

This is why it feels wrong.. I'm point scoring

As tempting as it is to think that you'll be getting revenge on her what you're really doing is allowing him to play both of you for his own amusement.

Do you really think you are worth so little?

Actually it's a very common pattern, and one all the 'self help' books warn against.

What do you do? Easy, you reject him, and your way of sticking it to her (if that is what you want to do) is leave her lumbered with a man who obviously doesn't give a monkeys about her. This is all about his ego - two women available on tap. Why would you even think about bolstering his ego trip?

Worst thing is I know exactly what I'm doing.. Short of dancing around with two fingers up!!

I need to sit back, breathe... And count ny lucky stars!

What muffpuff says. He's playing both of you and it is him you should be angry against, he's the one that had loyalty to you not her.

If he's a knobber then you are best off without him and feeling smug that you let the OW and him together. And get on with your life, maybe find a guy that isn't a knobber.

WTF do I do?!

Stop giving sex to the person that shat all over you.

Why does he get rewarded for fucking someone else?

He must be ecstatic. He gets two women! And they both know about the other one. And they still do him. He must feel like such a big man sex god. Happy days.

Or a cheat.

So he doesn't give a crap about his kids and he wants to have his cake (the OW) and eat it (you).

Kick him into touch. You'll be well rid. Move on.

So you're having sex with your ex but he is not planning on leaving his now gf?

He is having the ultimate cake and eat it. With cherries on top.

But it's not too late. Finish it once and for all. Tell yourself repeatedly that he is no good for you and you want out. Then do it. Stop having sex with him. He is taking the piss out of both of you but only you can see it.

Send him back to her. Lick your wounds. And keep contact with him to the bare minimum regarding the dc.

OP, the tone of your posts suggest you think you've won? He's shagging you again = you've won the gold medal?

Please get your reality hat on. He's only shagging you because he can. Don't think for one moment that the OW is off the scene. And even if she is, there'll be another one along very shortly.

I suppose the worst thing is that I know I'm being a dick but part of me feels revenge! Mwahaha! If that makes sense?!

Revenge? On the OW? You're directing your anger towards the wrong person. She didn't shit on you, it was your "ex" who did that, spectacularly.

Please don't get back with him. He'll be off again before you know it. And you'll be back to blaming the new OW because his dick just fell into her oh-so-irresistible vagina.

There's no revenge in this. It is your ex who cheated on you, not her. Yes her behaviour was shitty. But he's the one who did you wrong. And now you are doing the ultimate pick me dance. He must be loving this. Wake up woman, before its too late and you do something stupid like have sex with him without a condom. Because we all know where that one will lead.

Of course it makes sense that you want revenge it's a very human desire but it's not you having the last laugh here. It's your ex.

Read this:

www.chumplady.com/2012/04/the-humiliating-dance-of-pick-me/

I think he's the one counting his lucky stars. He gets to fuck two women, one whom he actually left. And this is making you feel better?

He's shitting on the both of you and laughing all the way to the bank while you two are gleefully scoring fake points with each other. You are not a winner in this situation. He is. Get that through your head.

You are being played left and right and don't even know it. That's the saddest part of this story. Open your eyes and kick him to the curb.

You say you've got kids OP, how would you feel if one of them were in your situation ? What advice would you give them? I doubt you'd be high fiving them congratulating them on winning. I understand the situation is fueled with emotion but you're going to need to see it for what it is. He's actually almost treating you worse now than when he left you for OW!

How long ago did you split up?

Ok, I thought twice about writing this, but this is what I was thinking as I read your posts - How are you getting one over on her if you're having his tongue and penis in you after they've already been in her?

This sounds so degrading.

Goodness. I find it very difficult to understand that you consider this man to be some sort of prize to fight other women for.

Get some self respect from somewhere, you are making a mug of yourself.

It's a misogynists dream isn't it. He is using both of you which makes him the all powerful mangod.

Seriously, pride woman! Pick it up off the floor.

I think what you are doing is natural. You want to prove on a subconscious level that you are worthy of him.
In the long run you need to tell him to F off and one day you will thank tour lucky srars that you got rid of the booby prize.

She has done you a massive favour although it will take time for you to see that.
Sleeping with an ex is very common, hysterical bonding and all that..

Make sure you contact other friends and surround yourself with those who actually care about you.

Also get an std check.