dating... am I missing a red flag?

[wonderingsoul]

So basically, to try and keep this short and sweet, I met this guy on a dating site, on a Sunday, we spoke via text till Thursday when he called, we spoke for 3 hours on the phone, nothing sexual, but he really made me laugh. Met up SSaturday, we got on well, he complemented me loads, we had a few great kisses. We've spoke on the phone ever since for at least an hour, it's mainly been normal stuff, getting to know each other, we've spoken a bit sexual, but not in a pervy or phone sex way Or a way that makes me ununcomfortable. But 90 percent of the time it's been clean.

I hate talking on the phone and find it hard, so this is actually a big deal for me to do so, it's not completely easy for me but I do enjOn it.

He seems keen on a relationshi.

All sounds good. But I'm freaking out, I don't know if it's me cos i find opening up tobpeople hard, been burned alot and don't genuinely trust men and it feels to perfect and moving to fast. not that anythings been said. And I'm just subertarsging myself or of I'm missing a red flag, or I'm just paranoid.

Help. Is it normal tobfreak out at the prospect of a new relationship?

I would freak out too. Too much too soon. But I am very cautious and potentially a commitment-phobe (I'm not sure? I like to think just sensible) so be interested to see what others say.
I personally like limited contact between dates until we've been on a few. I wouldn't want to speak to someone for 3 hours on the phone! Anyone! Ever! I also hate phone calls, though....

Keep communicating with him, keep meeting and having fun.
Try and hold off from having sex and sexual acts for 3 months. I can pretty much guarantee he will show his true colours by that time & you can make an informed decision if you want to have a sexual relationship or not. For me, if I start having sex with someone, I find it very difficult to exit.
This is my strategy anyway, and it's worked for me both times I have tried. Once I dumped the guy (avid porn user it transpired) and the other one I had a relationship with.
I didn't tell him my 3 month rule, but by the time we did the deed we knew each other well and went on to have the best sexual relationship I have ever had.

I am a bit of a commitment phobe.. But it is something I'm working on, so I'm very aware of my run feelings if that makes sence.

I didn't realise it had been that long till I hung up, it just flowed quickly and easily.

I don't know if I'm fighting the urge to run or what.

Waiting 3 months? You're a saint Jacky

Didn't go to his, didn't invite him in.
Easy. Had sexual outer course once or twice though

I think I'm just going to cool it off a bit, say I'm busy so can't talk on the phone So much :/

See how things go.

Just answer less. Text less. Be bright & breezy. Don't make a thing of it. Deal with it like other friendships. if you can talk for hours naturally, sounds potentially a really good thing!

I think you are just scared of being hurt.
Keep things fun and maybe don't ring him quite so much.
I can't see any red flags, but understand what it is like to be constantly on the look out for them.

I dont think there is anything strange from your op. I dont believe in waiting for sex either as I dont get the point in games (and I like sex its not just to please a man)

It all sounds fine to me Wonderingsoul. The fact that even though you don't like talking on the phone you were able to do so for so long without a problem is a good sign. Personally I don't have the time and inclination to speak to a date on the phone for so long too often; I'd rather be arranging a date to speak to them in person. If you don't want to chat too often then just tell him you're busy, but as textfan said, he might interpret that as you going off him. So perhaps follow up the "can't chat now" with "be great to see you again and chat then".
When are you seeing each other again?

This is reassuring, I guess I'm just on highalert, I think it's purely because we've only been talking a week. One week and we've spoken so much, I feel like I know him more then I should, I also don't quite get why he's into me, but then I battle with myself esteem alot to, so I'm never sure if I'm feeling a red flag or its my lack of confidence talking If that makes sence.

We have a date tomorrow, only for a for a few hours, so we're going to catch a movie. But we've got another planned for next week To.

I want to see where this goes and I need to remember I'm. In control of how fast things move, he won't meet my kids for at least 6-7 months if it gets that far, and I think that's my problem, if I was child free I would have no trouble getting caught up in it, but I'm not, not that they are holding me back but they are on my mind of how it could affect them etc.