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Original poster

Tell me what to say

12 replies

OlineDatingGaff · 28/01/2015 18:19

Have been chatting to 2 men online, both really nice. Met one in RL and now dating him. How do I let the other down gently, would you meet with him or not? I have tried dating more than one person in the past and it's not for me.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/01/2015 18:25

Has meeting been suggested? Do you see yourself still chatting to this guy as a friend even if you're dating someone?

Original poster
OlineDatingGaff · 28/01/2015 18:31

Meeting had been suggested in the next couple of weeks (conflicting work schedules) We live about an hour apart so would have been a special trip to meet up. Don't think it would survive the lets be friends route.

OP posts:
flatbellyfella · 28/01/2015 20:27

I don't think dating two men at the same time is a good idea, if you are starting to have feelings towards one of them, he would feel very betrayed if he feels the same towards you.

MiniTheMinx · 28/01/2015 20:56

How many times have you seen the first guy?

Original poster
OlineDatingGaff · 28/01/2015 21:19

That's my thought line flatbelly. mini we've only been out twice but text all day everyday and speak every night

OP posts:
antimatter · 28/01/2015 21:21

Until you are exclusive nothing should stop you from having a drink with someone else.

That is my take as often women commit too soon to a relationship which hasn't yet started....

dirtybadger · 28/01/2015 21:22

Just say you have changed your mind and don't want to meet up anymore? I doubt after that he'll ask any more Q's. If so, tell him it's nothing personal, you've hit it off with someone else and haven't got time for multi dating/aren't into that. If you haven't even met it's no big deal.

dirtybadger · 28/01/2015 21:23

Although I agree with the above. I don't think putting all your eggs in one basket too early is good for anyone- but I suppose if you aren't interested in this other bloke the reason doesn't matter, it'll never be worth meeting someone simply for the sake of it (waste of his time).

JeanSeberg · 28/01/2015 21:24

I don't think you can say you're dating him after 2 meetings!

Meet the other for coffer and see how it goes.

MiniTheMinx · 28/01/2015 21:31

I don't think men generally consider themselves to be dating and exclusive after two dates. To think you are makes you vulnerable to huge disappointment. I would meet the other one for a coffee or something, you never know, he might actually turn out to be something special!

You are not obligated to tell either of them anything. I know years ago it might have been different but online dating is a jungle and if you follow this ridiculous three date and DTD rule, be aware that they too are aware of this supposed rule. Check out the dating thread on here, you'll see that men often scarper after date three.

Original poster
OlineDatingGaff · 29/01/2015 19:55

Thanks lovely people :) Guy 2 forced my hand when I didn't answer a text and he got stroppy about it. Made it easy to let him down. Seeing Guy 1 again tomorrow and we shall see if he follows the 3 day rule or not

OP posts:
MiniTheMinx · 29/01/2015 20:59

Lucky escape from no 2 then. Hope it goes well for you.

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