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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Any experience of vasectomy side effects? Possible TMI warning!

35 replies

freshstart4us · 25/01/2015 14:08

Not sure where to post this so choosing here as high traffic area, hope it doesn't offend! Just wondering if there is anyone out there who has had or who has had an OH have a vasectomy? My DH has agreed in principle as we have "finished" our family but we both worry about it have an affect on our enjoyment of his orgasm.Blush

OP posts:
TitchyThings · 25/01/2015 23:54

I wanted to be in control of my own fertility and got sterilised in my twenties after 2 children. No problems at all, and much easier than listening to my DH whinging about getting it done.

wideboy26 · 26/01/2015 07:45

Who told you it takes 6 months for sperm to become inactive? It's not a question of them becoming inactive, it's flushing through the ones that are left 'in the system' after the tubes are cut. As I recall, it was a matter of weeks.

garhenk · 26/01/2015 08:04

After my wife being on the pill for 20 years before we had children, with both births unfortunately being difficult, I decided having the op was the least I could do. I was supposed to wait 8 weeks for an appointment but had a phone call on the Thursday about a cancellation and availability on the Saturday. Jumped at it. Slightly uncomfortable but not too much pain (had the non scalpel method) and actually was having sex within a week. No difference with anything. You have to wait for approximately 20 - 30 ejeculations (however long that might take for some!!) before it being cleared of vialble 'swimmers'. Definitely worth it.

ofshoes · 26/01/2015 09:41

I've had this done and while I feel quite lucky that I wasn't left with any long term pain is did completely ruin my orgasm, it felt like it went down to about half the strength of pre operation and has never been the same since.

I'd advise anyone to think long and hard about it

scaevola · 26/01/2015 10:52

Time to clearance is luck of the draw. It's a mix of time elapsed and number of ejaculations.

Most men are clear by 6 months, but it's not uncommon to take longer than that. DH took 18 months (we'd passed 30 ejaculations well before the first test at 16 weeks).

Showy · 26/01/2015 10:58

DH was one of the 1 in 10 too. He couldn't manage any ejaculations for 12 weeks but he was still clear. Checked again at 16 weeks, no sperm. So it worked. He's a year post op now, pain has lessened but he has flare ups and infections. Vasectomy was his choice. He wanted no more children. I was undecided. So he made a choice.

IsabeauMichelle · 26/01/2015 12:38

TabbyNicki, it's a much more minor op for a man! I had asked twice to be sterilised - I have 2 children and am in my 40's, and was refused both times!

TabbyNicki · 27/01/2015 14:12

Isabeau If you are in your 40's and had to ask twice to be sterilised, and was refused twice, that is a problem with your GP - not me

do3b · 27/01/2015 15:44

Hello

i'm new on here but i've recently had the snip, it was more my choice but if you want an unbiased account here goes sorry if TMI!

I was worried about wife as she had liver issues during last pregnancy and now pill is issue, i dont enjoy condoms and family is complete and i think coil is also not nice so elected for the snip

the newer method is call non scalpel its meant to be less damaging, this is what i had at the local Dr's on a thursday do your research and ask questions if the doc or his assistant reply then they are more interested rather than quick in out cash job.

i did the necessary shaving and also washed with disinfectant soap on the morning to be extra sure, but they slather everything in the yellow medical dye disinfectant, your legs, berries, tummy the lot so dont wear your favorite/best white undies or beige chinos to the appointment they will be ruined and your not out to impress the Doctor anyway!

while we are on the subject of pants, you need supportive pants, do not underestimate this its a real need, i bought a few pairs of lonsdale budgie smugglers from sports direct well worth the money, even tight boxer brief things dont work even at night for the first week it just plain hurts to move/swing so dont scrimp and only buy one pair or you will be laying next to the washing machine watching them go round like a kiddy whos favorite teddy is having a wash!

I drove myself to the procedure as i dont like fuss, its possible and i also drove myself home, the pain relief works so its ok for a short drive but its probably not a good idea as i actually found it quite mentally traumatic so i must admit i did feel a bit wobbly/upset after so its probably safer to get a lift

the op itself is ok for the most but if you are wound up, nervous or not a relaxed person it will be harder, i just told myself the wife had a C section and that must be worse so during the less comfy bits just thought about how much worse she had it and breathed it out!

the not nice bits are most of it but it is just uncomfy in the main

first he manipulated the berry to find the spermatic cord, he grips really hard and its not nice but its bearable as its not long, he then applies a clamp again not nice, next a needle goes though the skin into the tube again sharp scratch only from then on its gentle tugging, pulling etc until he gets to the tube itself and pulls it through the incision, i thought my kidney was coming out too! personally i was thinking he was planning on restringing a banjo with my soon to be redundant pipework so i told him (politely) he apologized and explained why and relieved some pressure which was better this was only on one side must be the routing varies side to side and person to person but most of my friends did say they felt this tugging, you do sort of feel the snip/crunch when they cut the tube but its more tugging the Dr is very liberal with the pain relief and then its just tugging as he stitches up, worst bit is that its twice as they do each side but it really is not that bad you just need to keep yourself calm

afterwards that day is OK like i said its more mental wobblyness as i found it a bit upsetting for some reason, but i did find that night i had tummy ache and a bloated tummy i think its all the tugging around it went the next day.

it does say not to shower but there is some blood around your legs and bits and the yellow dye everywhere and i hate feeling unclean so i did and i just washed my whole body using the disinfectant soap i then carefully dried myself and sprayed the cuts with savlon disinfectant spray, make sure its a non stingy one for kids as you dont want to sting the wound or worse sting the end of your willy!! i then dried my bits with the hair drier on cool setting so no dampness, may sound OTT but my friend did get an infection as it looked really nasty so i wasn't taking chances i did this for about 4 days until the cuts looked really solid

aside from that there are few pitfalls, its not true in my case everything is normal after a few days, you need to be on light duties and no lifting for atleast a week and no gym for more, i took a very long haul flight 4 days later and it was bearable but only just, I dont like to take painkillers as i wanted to make sure i was not causing damage and they do ache and touching them can really hurt, i found jeans especially bad as the tended to touch under your berries ( i never noticed before!) when you bent over etc and even the slightest tight trousers were unwearable so i opted for baggyish combat trousers and then trackie bottoms in the house this was for atleast 2 weeks in my case but im back in the jeans now :)

aslo key point for above 2 weeks you need to pee like a little boy, i.e no levering the chap out your flies that is not recommended and you need to pull your trackie bottoms and pants down properly us men (well i do) have a habit of sort of holding your pants down at the front so your bum is not on show while weeing i sort of rest the elastic band of my pants and the waistband of the trackies over my thumb and then point and squirt with the other hand, well word of warning if your being blaze and your trackie bottoms or pants (which are new with strong elastic) ping up and smack you in the spuds it REALLY hurts a lot and for sometime after i found this out the hard way so pull your strides down and use cubicle if out

bruising wise there is bruising and its quite deep purple around where the tubes are cut as far as i could work out so on your berries and also above your willy either side but its OK, the stitches were more troublesome as they are supposed to dissolve but after a few weeks mine were still there and also catching and making the area hurt, i could see the scar had healed OK so gently pulled them out in the shower it did tug a bit but was not too painful they came out quite easily and it all felt much better afterwards so im glad i did

operationally i read about blood in the semen on the web and started to panic it may be like a scab in the tube hurt etc during orgasm so lasted 4 days before i tested everything still works, you are supposed to leave it a bit longer but i had to know! it did take longer to orgasm (was on my own) but im sure it was all mental blocks about pain etc but it seems fine now!

i do get some aching its been 8 weeks but its very very low level and on one side only and from what i can feel its the cut end of one tube which is getting bashed during the day as my job is quite physical but its really nothing to report - you can feel the end of the tube if you really poke about

anyway sorry this is so long and i hope not too graphic, i would recommend it but it needs to be done eyes open, it does take longer to heal than any of the medical stuff says and you need to take care during recovery to not over do it, you feel ok but it does bite you if you bash yourself or strain anything and your wife needs to be considerate i get quite hurt by the comments some women say " well she had to suffer pain of child birth etc" yes true but it was a joint choice and there is no other way to get a baby out, intentionally traumatizing a very delicate part of your body with a surgical procedure is very different and no one says to ladies who have operations its pay back for someone else's suffering and lifting the kids does hurt and runs risk of a kick so you do need a week of understanding

freshstart4us · 27/01/2015 16:28

do3b thank you so much for your post, this is enormously helpful and I will definitely go through it with DH.

After the responses on this thread, and particularly your mention about the ongoing challenges with physical work/heavy lifting, I am now back to thinking it more sensible for me to have my tubes done, as my DH's job is very physically demanding and taking sufficient time off work would be financially detrimental for our family, which would probably mean him going back too soon for my liking. So back to the drawing board it seems!

Thanks again everyone for your responses, much appreciated!

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