Over the last 2 years I've been on a bit of a journey of realisation that I am surrounded by people that expect me to meet their needs with a total disregard for my feelings or thoughts. These people are my dh, parents and sibling. Examples would be that parents expected me to drive a 20 mile round trip while they were on holiday to feed their cat who I am allergic to. I did refuse but as I didn't want to upset them I organised an alternative cat feeder first. My dh ensures he gets to lie in every weekend while I get up with baby (even if I've been up multiple times and been at work all week).
As this relationship dynamic has been all I've known, I have allowed this to happen and suffered years of depression, which I've blamed myself for just like I blame myself for everything. The result of my upbringing is that I'm a real people pleaser, take responsibility for everyone else's feelings and I'm reluctant to express any negative emotions because I anticipate conflict which makes me really anxious. I want to change this but I'm not sure if I can. If I tell my parents or my dh that I'm not happy with their actions and say what I need, this is either mocked (parents) or just ignored (dh) and things carry on as they always have.