Hi, I'm not sure if I just want a rant but any advice would be equally welcome too!
My DP is friends with a guy who is not having a great time of it at the moment. His marriage isn't great and he recently decided to move back to our town whilst she has decided to stay in another. He also has problems with drink/drugs and can be quite dependant on them, this is also not helping their situation. However, recently he has become very depressed and a bit clingy and it feels like the smallest thing we "do or say" tends to make him feel like c*. He does have a tendency to be preoccupied with himself and it feels like that he thinks that everyone else should be responsible for the rubbish he has to deal with. I must point out that he not the most law abiding person and is banned from driving as he was caught drink driving and with no insurance twice. He has other redeeming features such as he slept with another woman who then accused him of rape (she dropped the charges in the end) He also tells another friend that we say one thing when actually another was said. This second friend is also getting the guilt trip thing but not so badly. I know DP was no angel before I came along and this friend is missing his sidekick but things have changed for DP and we are due to have out first child in just over two weeks and therefore very preoccupied with the obvious!
This morning DP got an e-mail from his wife saying that she felt we were treating her DH badly and could we at least be honest if we don't want him around. They are starting to get on better now as they are spending time apart, however I personally feel that we can do without being his babysitter because he won't try to sort his life/marriage out! Obviously he doesn't do much for me and I could happily do without him being around but DP is a very loyal friend and I know it would upset him to lose this friendship.
I think we are both stumped as to what to say to her as it is not so black and white, he can be a really nice person to have around at times but his manipulation and dishonesty can be very taxing.
I know I may dread asking this question but - am I being out of order?
Any comments will be gratefully received!