Trapped, worried and falling in love with someone else

[ashamedconfused]

I can't believe that I am in this situation. I am married with 2 dcs aged 3 and 1. I live abroad and my h is from here. Since we got married 3 years ago it has been a rocky road. I felt unsupported during difficult times, I find him aggressive, he shouts and loses his temper over petty things. I often feel like I really hate him. There can be good times but they never last long, he ruins everything. I don't like the person I am around him. I have told him I want to finish the relationship a few times but he doesn't go anywhere and he usually cries and persuades me to carry on. He doesn't seem to really care that the marriage is unhappy, it's like he doesn't expect anything else. He never goes and does anything outside of the home.

I am lonely and isolated. I work and I enjoy my work and like my colleagues. This is all that keeps me sane, plus my wonderful dcs. I don't know how I can get away or end this relationship. I can't go back to the UK even if he let me as I know I would be unhappier there with my parents than I am here.

Now to make things even worse I have started to have feelings for someone else. I cannot stop thinking about him and I am in turmoil. I just don't know what to do, I feel like I am trapped and have no way out.

You aren't trapped but you need to start prioritising: shelve thoughts of this 'someone else' take legal advice and confide in one of your lovely colleagues. For the sake of your dc you should exit your marriage but you need to start creating a network of real life support. Legal advice will help the trapped feeling: knowing where you stand is a start. Can you say roughly what part of the world you're in?

It sounds awful. Have a

Thank you for the reply, I am in Europe but a lesser known country. I have confided in a close friend/colleague. I think legal advice would be a good starting point. I have a friend who has been in a similar situation and is currently divorcing so she would be able to point me in the right direction I suppose. I feel like I could stay in the country I am in but I don't think I could stay in my house as it is too lonely where we live. I feel like I cannot leave though, as if I am giving up too easily. My h doesn't have anywhere to go and cannot afford to support himself as he earns a lot less than me so getting him out will be very difficult.