changing my name to get away from abusive ex- can it be traced?

[pod3030]

Very abusive ex, been tracking me on my iphone i think, a narcissist in the extreme, i am in an awful place atm as he's told all our mutual friends i'm crazy and evil and I feel so alone. I want to move, change my name and start afresh as i feel such a weight over me. I wonder can my name change be traced via my ny number or tax credits? Would they keep a record of the change?

I did it. It worked (almost 10 years now).

I had to move house simultaneously with the name change to make it work, obviously, and I moved a long way.

Its annoying that you have to change your identity, but I guess you are being pragmatic. He may not be interested in your child per se, but he may use them as a tool via the Courts to establish contact and your whereabouts. I think it is better to take the high moral ground and inform the police and take out an injunction if necessary, and start using the system and get legal advice.

Leaving those points aside, and the real reason I came on this post was to say that changing your name will put an obstacle in his way, but he will be able to locate you via a private investigation firm if he has other personal information such as you national insurance number, date of birth, maiden name, national health number, driving licence number etc. There are some very commercial PI firms that have methods of locating current (ie future in your case) names and addresses and other information held on private and public databases. A friend was concerned about a relationship he was entering into and for £800 got a stack of information, some of which corroborated what he knew and some of which was new information. It all turned out to be true information. I was staggered at what they could find.

I think the less that kind of illegal PI practice is publicized, the better, TBH Sex.

T o take the calculated risk (investment) in trying the name chance route you have to weigh up several things - OP is best placed to judge how the land lies with the police and how proactive and resourceful her Ex is likely to be, what his range of knowledge, acess is etc etc

BTW, I find your choice of phrase 'moral high ground' slightly upsetting. Uprooting children and all that entails to escape violence is hardly the opposite of maintaining the moral high ground. Is it?

Arse I told OP about the PI industry to answer directly her opening post (I think she meant NI number). You may be being too analytical about the term high moral ground. I was merely referring to the fact that if OP wants to use the Court system then she would have to go to equity with clean hands.

Thankyou so much all for of your answers. I had thought that PI services would be able to trace me. I expect that is what he would do.

I think i have to take that risk, otherwise, what have I left? I may as well jump off a bridge.

I hope you got the information you wanted OP, which I took to be practical and neither emotional nor political. Again on the practical side, remember that he is the father of your child and he has a legal route to bring you to account over contact and could apply for much more than contact, such as custody, and so I reiterate you do need to keep the high moral ground and engage with the system, which is not as daft as the publicity it can get. Otherwise he could use your actions to his advantage using custody or contact as a way of finding you (and I do get the 3 year not interested bit...that is the real life thing). I don't think you used the term violence in your post, it was introduced by another poster, but hey abusiveness can be violence in my experience without wanting to get too analytical, but just to finish by saying that if he is violent, or there is a chance of your ex taking children abroad, then you need to be very pragmatic. Good luck, happy to pm if you wish.