How do I "unlove" him?

[CosyDuvetBliss]

I think I want to leave my marriage. We dont talk. We dont sleep in the same room. We dont show affection to each other. We're both moody around each other.

I hate it. Its emotonally draining. I dont have the energy for keeping this up. I feel so lonely. I'm a SAHM and there are days that go by and I haven't had an adult conversation. Its making me feel really sad. Its knockimg my esteem and confidence which I didn't have much of anyway.

I try talking to him but its so hard. I usually get nothing is wrong or not now or be quiet which makes me feel so frustrated.

I can't help but feel a sadness for myself when I see my family and friends who are in happy relationships. Its a world apart from mine. I dont even get a conversation fgs.

The thing is, I know it sounds daft and maybe i am stupid, but I still love him and if I leave then I'm scared that I won't be able to cope.

How do I "unlove" him? My feelings for him have certainly lessened than before. I'm trying to emotionally detach but finding it hard.

Sorry if this sounds absurd but I'm in such a lonely and horrible place right now.

Thanks

The fear is almost always worse than the reality. And once you're free of a crap relationship you often feel relieved and even joyous. Feelings do change.
Can you talk to anyone in real life?

You will have single friends (you must know someone single?) who are happy too. You can be in a happy relationship one day, it's okay to want that, but you can't make that happen. Does need two people wanting the same thing. Your dh clearly doesn't want that. So make it happen as a single woman. You deserve happiness.

Everyone has good points. No one can be 24/7 unpleasant, annoying, etc (some may come close). Stop clinging to those bits, and focus on the negatives? As a mental tactic to detach a little. When you find yourself thinking "Oh but he's not so bad" remember neither is anyone else! You could pick a relationship with anyone and probably find yourself thinking the same thing sometimes. The whole idea of a relationship, though, is that it makes life significantly more enjoyable the majority of the time- enhances life, makes it something more...not that it's sometimes quite tolerable!

You can't force yourself to unlove him. With time, the feelings dull, but may never fully disappear. And even if you didn't love him anymore, it wouldn't make leaving him any easier, I think. Have you had a full and frank discussion with him and laid it out in the open to him? Be brutally honest and tell him you are so unhappy that you are contemplating ending the marriage and if things don't drastically change, then you see no future for you two as you feel exceptionally lonely. See what he says. If you don't think it would matter what he says and you just want out of the marriage, then you already have your answer on what to do.

It's not about unloving him, you can still love him but also want and have different.