bit of advice needed please.

[vodkanchocolate]

Hi everyone. Not regular poster but you have helped in past when ive had an issue.

Basically im having problems with an un wanted admirer the obvious easy option is to either ignore or to tell him straight which I have done several times. I am married and hes married and the last 6 months we have got very friendly with them but this last 3 weeks or so hes been asking me to meet him etc on our own. I have told my hubby and I know hes had a word with him couple days ago and I hoped it would of eased off but hes messaged me on kik today saying sorry if I felt he has been coming on strong didnt mean to just felt like there is a mutual attraction between us. I dont find him attractive at all but I find him incredibly funny hes had me in stitches numerous times. I m worried ive give him some sort of come on.

Ive told my husband ive had another message and hes told me that we need to stay away from both from now on but Im really short of friends and me and his wife have been getting on like an house on fire dont want to give up on our friendship. Telling her isnt an option I dont feel as their relationship seems to be very fiery. We have a spa trip planned next week and im dreading it.

What shall I do? x

Send him a very firm clear message that you feel no attraction towards him whatsoever, and if he doesn't back off you'll be sending his messages to his wife. He sounds like an utter creep - what kind of man keeps on making advances to a married woman after her husband has intervened on her behalf?! And why didn't you just set him straight from the beginning? I feel bad for his wife, tricky one about what to do there.

just felt like there is a mutual attraction between us

'Not from my end mate. Suggest you wind it in a bit'.

He sounds a right twat, you could at anytime show his wife the kik messages, of course you won't but he doesn't know that. You could say "Oh well I'm only friends with you because I fancy your wife" or perhaps not, maybe better to just cancel arrangements and block him on the messenger thing. He isn't listening to your husband, which shows that this man is probably dangerously disillusioned enough to try anything. I wouldn't put myself in the same room as him because whatever you or anyone says he thinks otherwise and seems quite irrational.

I would rather be lonely and have no friends ever again than carry on any kind of relationship with this creep, he sounds unhinged.

The more you respond, the more he will see that as a come on, you know his intentions so block, block, block.

Thanks I do think I maybe should of been a bit more firm with him the first time I thought he was been a bit pest but just want sure if he was been overly friendly or if it was in my head. The funny thing is its not long ago I suspected his wife of flirting with my husband.

Im going to have to have a long think really about our friendship. She seems pretty flirty with guys aswell and its crossed my mind a couple times that they are just playing each other I know it seems mental. It was so refreshing having friends who we both got on with for drinks etc as one problem we havep is we dont like each others mates which is a bit sad since been together 9 years r :( x

damn, my typing is crap.

BTW blocked him off kik but he has got my whatsapp and number not sure how to block off that. Got him on fb but so far havent had any contact on that didnt want to delete incase his wife questioned

Swingers?

Friend has txt today out of blue saying she knows hes been pestering me apparently hes just wanting to be friends and I have a good listening ear and doesnt feel he can talk to her!! She said she found the txts on his phone but no mention of the one on kik where he says there is a mutual attraction. She doesnt want it to effect our friendship which is easier said than done. I had practically decided to cancel our plans but not sure x

The wife suddenly getting in touch doesnt feel right to me. I would put some distance between you and the couple.

The funny thing is its not long ago I suspected his wife of flirting with my husband.

I think it's time to fetch a bargepole and keep them both at a distance.

Drop them like the perverbial hot brick and move on to other friends she is obviously aware of her husbands antic's and can't be that bothered if she thinks you are needed for a listening ear.

weird

weird

weird

run a mile. OP

Any risk they both want you (perhaps AND your DH)?

We are ending the friendship after thinking long and hard. At end of the day we are a happy couple just trying to lead a normal stress free life. Got enough to deal with so not going to be getting drawn into whatever weird games there playing.

I have ignored her last message. Now needs work out how to tactfully get it through to her. X

Mmmm word of warning here ... Had similar with a couple. Messages, good friends etc. he was flirty as was she. I was uncomfortable with it -
Especially when one night he whacked me on the arse. It was actually part what caused exH and I to split as he became a bit obsessed with the friendship and couldn't see why I was wary.
Since the split many people have asked me about the couple - seems they are well known for being a bit weird ....

Thank you pieceofpurplesky. Will be trying to keep distance from now on I was worried I was over reacting but after talking to husband and reading replies on here I do think its for the best. I only know one other lady who knows her and know they didnt get on that well due to different opinions on parenting so I have nobody to ask really see if maybe its just their personality or are been a bit too weird with us