For all those lovely people who replied to my original thread. It's taken a couple of months, but my little boy and I move to rented accomodation in a week. I have reinstated child benefit, applied for tax credits and after endless asking, have child maintenance and childcare arrangements agreed. I'm entitled to a bit of housing benefit, but everywhere says no DSS, so I am playing that one by ear a bit.
The prospect of living in rented, meeting the costs myself, having only myself to rely on night and day for the two of us, the lack of money... it's been frightening. But then, security is illusory, isn't it? From injury to illness to divorce/separation to death. Sorry if that's a bit maudlin! But it's helped me come to the conclusion that I need to reclaim myself and the life I want for my family. What is life for, after all?
And from all of this, I have realised how lucky I am. I have a wonderful son, fantastic supportive family, the best friends ever, who are rallying around, inviting me out and to sleepover, helping me move, endless listening to my worrying, putting up with me being self-obsessed a bit at the moment! I'm very fortunate. I feel daunted but can feel the beginnings of determination to pursue old artistic ambitions and earn those extras, like holidays, trips out, for me and my beautiful boy.
Thank you for listening, everybody. Your comments to my original post reinforced everything I really knew, deep down, and helped me take action.