If your dad admitted to wanting to hurt you as a child

[pnutter]

I freaked out ..why my parents are telling me now I have no idea..apparently dad held me over the stairs by the neck as a baby..at least it explains my issues..but why tell me now??

Back story is im suffering from a bad depression at the moment ..always have had depression. .particularly bad at the moment

They sound like complete arseholes!

I can't imagine why they would want to tell you something like that esp as your not well at the moment!

Unless you've said your struggling with your kids (if you have any) and they've meant to say that all parents struggle at times but even if that is the case what your father did to you as a child is an absolute disgrace to fatherhood!

I'm really angry for you I don't have much to say to help but I didn't want to read and run.

Keep your chin up I know depression is a bitch but look after yourself ok

Thanks. .i went to them for support in a very difficult time and took my dd ..bad mistake . Gutted. Realise now I have no one but my 2 dc..and they rely on me . I just cried at the horrible weirdness of it.

It's very difficult having no family and being a lone parent ! As well as mental health issues .. i told them I find life very difficult and that's what they come up with !

Hi pnu.
Sorry to hear that your having such a hard time. Have you been to see your GP?
Do you think in some warped way they were trying to sympathise. Are they loving otherwise?
Please focus on the fact you have your lovely DC and if you find someone outside of the family to talk to please do. GP tomorrow?

I think you need to find out why they are telling you this bizarre information. What is their motivation? I'm sorry if you suffer from depression or other issues but I wouldn't have thought one (albeit dreadful) incident from a time in your life when you were too young to remember would be the cause. However, if they're saying that your father was routinely abusive, aggressive, volatile etc to you as a child, that would be different. Was that the case when you were growing up? Or maybe they're saying that your father suffered from depression himself?

Hi thanks I have support and medication etc . It's just been so bad as I've left an abusive relationship and i went through a period of self harming which my parents find disgusting.

They were I suppose relating their experience as newly weds ..i was born just before they married.
It just really shook me although I know we all have those times when we are sleep deprived etc .
The whole situation I suppose was just not very supportive. They also made comments over dinner about self harmers being 'liars' and 'whingers' . On the whole my childhood was chaotic. Violence in the home . Abuse by others. So..my first breakdown was age 14 my first hospitalisation was age 20!
I do know that relying on my family is a complete waste of time. I forget sometimes! They are not all bad either and there are times that are ok.

It is more than a complete waste of time, it sounds quite damaging. If you're already in a delicate mental state, you need people around you who are kind and sensitive. Your parents may be OK some of the time, but if you know they are likely to make crass remarks and be unkind and insensitive, I think you have to give them a very wide berth until you are feeling much more resilient.... and think twice even then. if you have support and medication etc then please go that route.

Thanks Cog yes I'm home now and don't intend to visit them again in the foreseeable !

He didn't do that because he "found parenting difficult" but because he was an arse.