For those who had 'runaway husbands' and are now divorced

[mrsallergy]

Any tips on easing the transition when the divorce comes through?

Even though my stbxh has behaved/behaves disgracefully and I could never accept him back, it will still be one of the saddest days of my life when the divorce is finalised and he becomes my ex-h. I suppose because it is the end of hopes and dreams and a future I thought I was going to have for me and my children.

I had a runaway H, he left me with our new baby. Happened 7 years ago and I've never seen him since.

Jess's post is amazing. She describes the pain, fear and humiliation so well. I didn't function at all for four months, though somehow looked after baby. The following year was hell. Baby kept me going as I loved him so much and he was such a beautiful happy boy.

The divorce was difficult to obtain as I couldn't serve papers - didn't know where he was. Managed it in the end. The day it actually came through I celebrated tbh. It'd felt so weird being 'married' to someone who seemed to have died but was alive somewhere in the world.

I don't remember the divorce date now but I do remember the date he left and the date of our wedding. And the date of his birthday.

Still don't know where he is, though think he's living abroad.

The divorce is immaterial in the end. Our son feels the pain and confusion of having no dad and 'where is dad' as I do on many days still. I've never had a relationship since and never will again.

Havent RTFT but for me, getting divorced was the same as getting married. Legally my status changed but emotionally and practically, everything stayed the same. When I first got married I expected to everything feel totally different and it was a bit of an anticlimax when that didnt happen. The same happened with the divorce.

By the time the divorce becomes final, you have been through the worst of it and are in your new normal.

I did feel a tinge of sadness that it had come to that but in all honesty, I felt no different. I would advise that you dont try to predict how you will feel, just accept that whatever you feel will happen and try to deal with it as it comes.

How I feel like my husband is died but he’s not really he has abandoned me after 15 years Leven me to look after we’re kids why he goes off to have a new life my hart is broken I thought we had something special he was my best friend well so I thought till he said he doesn’t love me anymore I can’t seem to come to terms with it I miss him love him but can’t understand why he doesn’t love me anymore it hurts so much I just want to end my life but I can’t do that to my kids but that’s how I feel he won’t take to me apart from I would like to get the kids at this time I have begged him to come home told him how much I love him but nothing he just doesn’t reply to me my kids are hurting so much to I have a 4 year a old 9year old and a 11 year old everyone keeps telling me to forget him but how can I when I love him I can’t eat sleep or talk to anyone I just feel lost and sick to the bottom of my stomach