My DH has left me about 5 months ago and has moved out. He has made his decision and doesn't want to try to reconcile but tells me every now and then he worries it's a horrible mistake. This is not due to feelings he has for me, but I think the reality of actually going through with the separation. Having to buy a new house, not see his kids so much etc. He's followed the script for a mid-life crisis, re-written our past so he can't think of much good about us, has a long list of issues with me/my failings (how I didn't put the shopping away, how I swept the floor), how I run the house, bring up the children, we never did things together etc. He has a stressful job with long hours and was rarely around, I mostly managed the house, 2 DCs and worked 4 days myself. Despite me saying these things can be worked on I "haven't shown him that I have changed". I know it's over, but I still love him and he's a decent kind man, no OW etc. Actually he was uncommunicative and always tired and stressed, his job has taken him over, but I wasn't positive enough. Separation will be ok, my DCs will stay in their home. But I'm 42 and have been with him for many years and can't face starting all over again. Not that I have that choice anyway. But I am devastated for my DCs that we can't make it work and struggling with my uncertain future.