Cheater

[Theweight0912]

3 months ago I found out my dh had sex/made love/fxxxxx another woman. Xmas, other big family celebrations, holiday etc forced me to be strong for my 2 gorgeous children & keep quiet. Without help from BFF couldn't have managed. I've coped really well, so have the children. I asked him to leave as I needed space & time to think.... He's gone, but we run our business together. If I stop working with him I'll be shooting myself in the foot as we have to live. I love him, but he's broken my heart & I cannot forgive him for what he's done to our precious family. 21 years married.... What to do????

Do you think it was a one off OP?
How did you find out?

I'm sorry you've had such a terrible shock and been so badly let down. If you've decided there's no future in the relationship and you can't see how you can own/run a business together, then I think you need to take legal advice about the implications of ending both the marriage and the business partnership. There will be various options open to you, some better than others.

I think get legal advice anyway, even if you haven't made firm decisions. You need information on your options.

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of this.

The only thing I would say is not to feel obliged/pressured to go back to the status quo through fear of business repercussions. That would probably drive you mad, or at least make you deeply unhappy, as you aren't choosing to stay. You are feeling compelled to.

As others have said, I would strongly recommend getting legal advice, and getting as much practical information as you can about the different options on the business. Sell? Him buy you out? Getting assurances on the business side will mean you aren't pressured into a decision on the relationship in either direction.

I think you need to get legal advice too, not to push you into any decisions but knowledge really is power in situations like this and you need to no where you stand in every aspect, sorry your going through this

I am in a similar situation and am currently getting legal advice to see what my options are - although they appear limited as he doesn't have the money to buy me out and I would struggle to sell my share as he doesn't want to work with anyone else!!

The one thing I have found incredibly hard is to separate the business and personal issues and it has caused a number of arguments and upsets. Some things that have helped is that we communicate via text whenever possible so there is no mis-understanding as everything is written down. I am also now starting to make sure that I only answer texts etc during business hours - it is very easy to still be texting at 9pm at night! Days like today, I wish I could give it all up!!

Thanks for listening, my DD found an incriminating photo on .... yes you've guessed his mobile - dickhead. That is what hurts the most the fact that she found it and I had to lie to protect her. I will get legal advice as we are amicable at the moment but I am of a certain age and want to live my life and not be in constant nervousness that it is going to happen again, because I believe that it will. I am a good person and I did nothing to deserve this, although he says the lack of sex drove him to it!!!! Who's heard that one before - hands up!!!! Onwards and upwards....X

Typical cheater's trick that - to blame you for their infidelity. It sounds like you are a very sensible person OP - so don't buy it for a moment!

Like the others have said, get some legal advice, lean on your friends and make sure you look after yourself

Bitoutofpractice - thank you. Haven't had flowers sent to me for ages xxxx

Well you can have armfuls of them from me OP. I know just how fucking much this hurts. You will come out of the other side though - better, happier and stronger. In fact it'll be the making of you. Promise