I just get the feeling he's upto something again. (Anyone know much about iphone/pad downloads?)

[ShitSplatteredBogBrush]

DH has a littered past of messing around on hook up sites, messaging young girls (18+ but not much + iyswim) and dating sites. I have (stupidly?) forgiven him over 3 times now. The last incident involved him downloading a casual sex app, snapchat and something else that was weird and designed to encourage meet ups.

I realised at this point I was no longer suprised .

Anyway I had it out with him one more time - he said that would be the last ever time it happened and me being a twat let it go.

ANYWAY ... the reason he was caught out with the apps was that he'd downloaded them onto his iphone not realising that due to the lovely apple sync - they automatically got downloaded onto the ipad at home. I stumbled across them and challenged him.

Anyway, since all this (about 4 months ago) I have periodically checking his itunes/phone for other dodgy sites and downloads ready to pack my bags at the first sign of it. Then I notice that a pop up comes on his phone these days asking to sign in (to an email address that he reckons he doesn't use nor can log in to, why would that suddenly come up after all this time using the email address I know about?) so that suggested to me that he had another itunes account that was kept 'secret'.

I've just turned itunes on and notice that in the account it says only the ipad is authorised to download apps on that account. So what happened to the phone using the same account?

I've also come across porn in the google history (linked to his phone) today suggestiing that he's using his phone for more than texting etc again. It all started with the discovery of porn last time.

Is there anyway I can see what account his phone is synced to? I'm thinking if I try and download an app on his phone using the account I'm "meant" to know about ... it wont work if he's changed it?

I've just managed to log in on the "new" account.

Is there any point?

You know what he is up to dont you? What difference would it make if you knew exactly what websites or apps he is using? Would it make it easier for you to leave him, or would it in fact make it harder as he would have every excuse under the sun and would beg you to stay....again.

He knows that you will always let him get away with this, thats why he has never stopped, just gradually got better at covering his tracks. You have never left so there are no consequences to him.

He doesnt respect you, doesnt care about you and your feelings and will continue to do this to you, and to any other woman he gets involved with.

I suggest that rather than obsessing about what sites he is on, you focus on your exit plan.

Take care

Xpost.

Surely you have already plenty of reasons to have dumped him long ago. Why do you need to torture yourself with more salacious details?

You are focussing on what he is doing - you should be focussing on how you can get rid of him once and for all.

Why bother, he is or will be up to his old tricks, you let him off 3 times for god's sake, in other words: walk all over me, I will take any shit you throw my way.

Instead of worrying about what he is doing, invest in yourself, and tell yourself you can do better than this snake.

I was going to say the same. What is the point?

If you have already caught him put 3 times, how many times do you simply not know about?

How many times is too many/enough?

So this time he has gone to great lengths to hide his activities.

Take him at face value, he is shouting who/what he is from the rooftops!

You don't need details. You have proof he is hiding information. He has a track record, do you really need more?

Why are you wasting your time? He's been caught with his pants down three times. Forgiving him has only earned you more of the same. Isn't it for him to prove that he's not up to no good rather than you playing amateur detective?

How can you have respect for a man who does this, esp the bit about messaging young girl, just yuck.

Sorry to pile in with the others but I totally agree: what is there to be gained by catching him out a 4th time? What will be different this time -- a 'final, final' straw? Or will you actually walk? This is no life for you.

Afraid to say but he will never ever change.....he's being shady and secretive. You have no trust in the relationship. It's a cliche but you do deserve better.

At the end of the day porn is porn but some sites push the boundaries further like the ones you've mentioned.

You must be mentally exhausted and this must be hanging over you like a huge black cloud. I'm a bit rubbish with technology but it sounds to me like he's up to something. Sorry....but I'm sure deep down you know this already. Xx

I assume you found what he's been up to thn?

Yup - what's the point.

You know what he is. You know what you're married to.

He's about as important as a lump of bird shit on your shoulder - you're the one who matters.

What do you want to do?
Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 15 years?

If it's putting up and shutting up as you currently do - just get on with it. There is no point in having any more arguments about something that isn't going to change.

If you don't want this - expend your energy on your exit plan and not on pointless confrontations with a person who simply doesn't care.

He lies and pretends because he doesn't want you to leave. But that's not because he loves you - if he did, he'd respect you and not do this. He wants you to stay because it makes his life easier and change and upheaval is a pain in the bum.