Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Angry/Upset/Happy....... What's going on!!

4 replies

Stepawayfromthesweeties · 18/01/2015 22:18

I ended my 4.5yr relationship 3 months ago we are still living together until the house sells. He was a rubbish partner & rubbish dad to our 18mth old son, but since the split he is doing all the things he should have been doing from the start. Part of me is pleased for our sons sake that he is finally making an effort (although some of his behaviours are questionable) but the other part of me is furious that it took me to end things for him to start being a father. Whenever I said to him that he needed to spend time with ds his response would be 'I'm busy, you wanted the kid', he would mainly be playing in the garage!!

He was emotionally abusive to me during the relationship, would arrange to meet other woman (when I confronted him tried to get out of it by saying he would have never actually gone to meet them), hid over £20ks worth of debt from me, spent a huge amount of time watching anal porn online until I caught him out then he just started watching it in private browsing so I couldn't check up on him, we had no physical relationship as my size is an issue to him (I'm a 14/16),, he would shout at me for spending money even on essentials like bread and milk, then it would find that he'd spent £300 that we didn't have on his hobby!!!! The list goes on!!!!

He is a complete and utter knob & I can't believe that is was so stupid as to have a child with him. The best thing I ever did was ending the relationship, but I am now furious with myself for getting into this situation. Looking back he was always like this, how did I not see it, how did I think it was acceptable??

So just feeling very sorry myself at the mo & looking for people to tell me that everything will be ok. Not looking forward to the prospect of having him on the outskirts of my life forever

OP posts:
bagelfiend · 18/01/2015 22:25

He is totally playing you now by doing all the things he should have done previously.
Too bloody late IMO.
He sounds like an absolute twatbag and good on you for getting rid. You clearly had your reasons for being with him and I'm sorry that you're regretting that now but you are making a very positive change!

Stay strong! Everything will be ok! Thanks

GoatsDoRoam · 18/01/2015 22:31

Is there no way to live apart?

He'll keep being a drain on your emotions as long as you are under the same roof. And you can't move on and heal with him still around, realistically, so it delays your own recovery from this relationship.

(oh, and yes it will get better, and you will cope with whatever shit he throws at you, and you find new strength and joy in life once you are able to be your own person again and free from dickish behaviour in a partner).

Stepawayfromthesweeties · 18/01/2015 22:37

Thank you, I think he just preyed on my lack of confidence to make his own ego even bigger. Just hoping that the house sells quickly as if we have to live like this much longer I may crack up!!

OP posts:
Stepawayfromthesweeties · 18/01/2015 22:39

I spoke to a solicitor this week and unfortunately I have to stay living here or risk losing the huge amount of money (that my parents leant us to buy the house) Confused

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page