Can't stop thinking about him

[Joanna2239]

Argh so call me a bitch and a cheat, me and my partner went through a really rough patch literally only stayed together for the sake of our child and during the patch I started feelings for another man we we're so happy but end of story I decided it was best to stop seeing him as I didn't think it was fair for my child to get close to another man that wasn't her dad so we called it off I focused on me and my daughter then out of nowhere me and her daddy started to get better and happier with eachother we still lived together through this so we worked it out gave us another chance now it's like nothing ever happend between us, so anyway nearly 9 months on I randomly have dreams about that other guy then the next day his always in my head I no I'm completely over him but why do I dream about him sometimes? Is it just because he made me happy or what?

You think about him because he's your fall-back. You stopped seeing him (rather than the other way around), he was close enough for you to be worried about your DC calling him Daddy and, even though you say you are happy now, he'll be at the back of your mind as your safety-net if things go wrong. If you're sure you jumped the right way, he'll fade eventually. If you think you might have jumped the wrong way, he'll be there for a long time.

Thanks for replying, yeah that makes sense as I don't rarely think about him anymore until I hear his name or something like that or obviously dream about him, I fear that if me and my partner go through another rough patch again that il go running to him again which I don't want but you no when someone just makes you uncontrollably happy and gives you all of their attention

You'll be setting yourself up to fail if your plans for the future are banking on you never having another rough patch with your partner. Also, if you have an alternative, the danger is that you won't be particularly motivated to fix problems. How rough is a rough patch?