Have I been having an Emotional Affair ?

[ConfusedWifey]

I am happily married and have never considered even remotely having an affair yet recently I have found myself thinking a LOT about a work colleague who is also a friend. I have known him a long time and we have always had the same sort of cheeky conversations we have been having recently and as tactile as recently but I constantly think about kissing him.
I thought thinking but not actually doing was fine but then found the above phrase and am now wondering whether that's what I am doing ?
Not to make excuses but I am also wondering if it's hormone related, I have just finished bf DC2 for a year and after bf DC1 the same length of time I was constantly wanting to jump on my Husband. Did anyone else feel like this after bf finished with a massive hormone boost ? [Hmm]

Name changed as DH knows my usual name

No, I wouldn't class this as an emotional affair. I think of EA as going outside the marriage to get the kind of emotional connection you should be having inside in the marriage. Yours I think is just a crush.

It would depend whether your 'cheeky' (?) conversations with him were intimate, would it bother you if your DH heard them or saw your text messages to each other?

It sounds more like a crush than an emotional affair. It's natural to be attracted to others from time to time and it sounds like you get on well. Just perhaps try to distance yourself a little now you're having these feelings.

Ah yes maybe it is a crush (not used that phrase for a couple of decades!).
My friend complimented my bum the other day and put his arm round me but we have always been like that, so I think if DH saw/heard that I would just say "he's always been like that".

I can't really distance myself currently due to work.

It all feels very odd, I have known friend for ages yet love DH and we want another baby so I am surprised at myself for my thoughts.

Well, I wouldn't be comfortable with a friend who did that but each to their own. Would you mind if DH had a friend who did the same thing to him?

My question was more about would it bother you if your DH heard what you were saying to the guy, rather than what he was saying to you.

Hmm good question, I dont honestly know how I would feel if DH overhead conversations between us, but then maybe that tells me something about the situation !

If DH had a friend who did the same thing I dont kniw what i would feel either.

Okay - sounds like you do need to re-evaluate. I still don't think you're having an emotional affair but perhaps you are closer to the danger zone than is a good idea?

I think you stray into emotional affair territory when anything is said or done between the two of you, that wouldn't happen in front of your partners. Or if you are concealing contact.

So if your conversations wouldn't have happened if your DH were in the same room with you, then you are getting into dangerous ground.

You love your DH. Concentrate on him rather than your crush. If you think it's your hormones, try and get a crush going on some completely fantasy figure like an actor, not someone you see in real life.

Oh bless you OP, I think it's just your hormones playing up and you've developed a crush.

This happens to me occasionally, if I've been working closely with someone new and funny, I go through phases of developing silly crushes. I've learned that it passes as quickly as it arrives, and I don't worry about it now.

As long as you don't act on it, or flirt or encourage in any other way then you've done nothing wrong. I second other's suggestions to distance yourself as much as possible - I realise that might not be easy if you're working together, but do try.

It will pass. Focus on your DH.

Aww thank you everyone I did try and speak to him less today.

Maybe I will try and focus my attention on Liev Schreiber (who I have just found out about and is very fit) :)

I am currently going through a similar thing. I don't have children yet and so it can't be hormone related.

I have a friend at work and have been thinking about him a lot. I love my husband but am constantly considering "what if" and wondering about how things would be with this person. I don't really think about physical things with him as I don't actually think I fancy him at all. It's more thinking about being with him, what our life would be like etc.

I have begun to question things with my husband (been together 8 years, married for 2) and compare him to this friend.
Constantly wondering if I would be happier with him.

Nothing has happened with this person and nothing will, but I am struggling to be happy with my husband with these thoughts in my head.

Why does it matter what it's called? It's inappropriate as you're married. Limit the contact or talk to your husband.