justalittle, I totally, 100% get what you mean. I've got only 2 very good friends I've known for 20yrs and some aquaintences. This wasn't really a problem for me until I moved overseas nearly 2yrs ago. I went through a phase of feeling really isolated and lonely.
It's due to being out of my comfort zone and I realised that I was just that out of practice with actually making friends. But, my God, it's a bloody hard slog and can feel like I'm always the one making the effort for very little in return! The amount of people I've swapped numbers with, in the expat community, and at best, got a few meet ups with them then it's fizzled out.
Even at the play group I sometimes attend, which is very busy in a huge hall, just the actual breaking the ice then maintaining any kind of conversation is quite a challenge. It fills you with self-doubt as you think you're coming across differently to others than you percieve yourself. I know all about good communication and non verbal cues, I do all the obvious things ( open body language, ask questions, listen, smile etc etc) but I'm not the most confident person and have always envied these outgoing, gregarious types that seem to act like a magnet and attract people with little effort. It's like people can read my aura or something, or my pheromones are off LOL!
I often think I must be a weirdo and it kind of dents your confidence and can put you on a downer. I've sort of resigned myself to being a natural loner but that's not to say I've given up making an effort in the hope of finding real friendships. It's just sometimes it's harder to make the effort than other times. Sometimes I just cannot be arsed with it all!
But walking around feeling like you're not part of society (i can't work as can't speak the language yet, which is a huge part of the prob for me! ) and as a result, feeling invisable is not much fun. I can go days without having a proper conversation with anybody, other than the obv pleasantries in shops, cafes etc, and not inc my husband of course! I do miss regular interaction with adults ( I'm a SAHM to a 3yr old ). It really can erode your confidence and self-belief if you aren't careful.
I think once my little girl goes to school I can concentrate on learning the language and getting a hobby. That could open more doors. But my career is well and truly dead and gone with moving here. Back home, that would at least give me some adult contact and friendships with colleagues.
I will def be visiting the FB page somebody recommended. I think lack of friends and difficulty making new ones isn't uncommon. It's just not many people "come out" and speak about it honestly.