Feeling like a jealous horror, my best pal has dumped me for another woman

[LotsaDots]

Please feel free to give me a slap, I just want to tell someone how I feel.

My best pal is a family member, known her forever, we both say we may aswell be sisters we've always been close.

she's basically replaced me with a new friend, doesn't bother with me any more, buys b day present for new friend (who's b day is days before mine) but not for me the present receiving isn't the point, invites new friend round for dinner but makes excuses every time I suggest coffee, quick visit, night out or anything.

so I gave up contacting her after Christmas and have had nothing from her. She hasn't noticed I think.

anyway I feel like I need to get a grip, I don't want to be jealous, I'm not, I have a busy life & other friends I'm just sad, I miss my best friend.

Thanks for listening

ps I know the other friend, she's lovely & we get on great.

That's really sad for you op not pathetic at all to feel like you do, with a friendship so close it feels like a breakup.

You're handling it well though, keep your dignity and civility, and focus on your other friendships.

Thank you I will do

Oh that's rubbish OP, sounds quite hurtful

If you're friends with the new friend as well, could you try and set up an outing with the three of you, start a facebook thread or something? It seems so odd that you were such good friends, that she would drop you all of a sudden. Especially since you know and get on with new friend.

Is it possible that you've (unwittingly) offended her in some way?

she would have told me I'm pretty sure, we've had plenty of times where the 3 of us have been together. I think she genuinely doesn't give me a thought, they check in on fb lots of outings/get togethers where I could have been invited, usually I wouldn't think anything of it but the last one upset me because it was the day after I'd suggested meeting. which is why I decided to give it up.

I'm glad I posted because it's helped me get it out, I guess she will always be there I'll just have to wait til she gets in touch, not going to set myself up for another knock back though now

Thank you Jennifer your post gave me a lump in my throat. you hit the nail on the head.

I've been asked by another family member to help plan a party for her next month along with new friend. I've said yes as I was going to go ahead and be a good person, be strong and get on with it. but it will be done with resentment. I want to say you know what, I'm going to take a back seat as I've got too much on, but then I'm choosing to distance myself aren't I.

as far as Facebook goes, it's like she doesn't see me on there as she's not liked anything of mine or contacted me on there for ages, I'm not getting het up about that it's not real life, it's all for show.

Thank you again

Jennifer is so spot on in everything she says. I was dumped by a mate for a mutual friend and it was so hurtful. It's sad, but you can't dwell on it. You sound lovely. Have a think about other people you "click" with, even if you don't know them that well yet and start arranging to meet for coffee etc. She will probably be back when this new friendship isn't so exciting, but by then you might just be a bit to busy to meet :)

hmmm, i take a slightly different view on this.

If you miss your friend and are upset by it i don't see anything wrong with contacting her and saying so. Has she taken offence at some imagined slight perhaps. At least then you can move on knowing that you did all you could to save the friendship.

Maybe you're right Jennifer.

But i always like to know that i did everything i reasonably could. It sometimes leads to short term hurt, but i find in the long run it makes me feel better about myself. But i do see your point.

Thanks jen & getthefeck. I was asking dp the other day if he thinks I've done something and he said you have said all this before a couple of years ago. He's right, she went quiet once before & I assumed I'd upset her & asked if there was anything wrong,to which I got loads of, god no I feel terrible etc, which is why I'm not going there getthefeck.

I promise I'm not needy, you just notice when the usual friendly texts, calls, general acknowledgements stop completely.

I've unfollowed on fb and have been busy really so not as sad but obviously it's on my mind now & again. I'm just going to get on with it

I had similar with a friend who some years back just ceased all contact. She was going through a really difficult time, so when she wrote to me out of the blue after several years, we resumed the friendship.

Now though, shes done the same thing again, not responding to texts or contacting me.

I've had enough as this is the second time and I think Jennifer's advice is spot on. I'm keeping busy and letting her go.

Sorry hedgehog. its mean isn't it, it'd be better if they just gave a reason, suppose it isn't always someone's fault. Some people just can't fit all their friends in their lives all the time

Just came back to see how you were doing OP. It does sound like you are handling it very well and good you've spotted it is a rerun.

I know exactly how you feel. Also happened to me. Replaced for someone she's clearly in awe of (not even sure why!). Great Stuff. Don't even get invited to anything anymore - I'm always doing the inviting. Or if I do, it becomes clear other girl was invited first... which makes me feel really shit! Have actually discussed it but no point bringing it up again as I'll just look petty. Decided they are actually welcome to each other. I would never do this. That's why it's hard to understand. Doesn't make it any easier. It's worse than being at school.