How do I cope with being the only one not invited to family wedding?

[saltnpepa]

There has been a 5 year feud between me and my brother, there have been times where we have tried hard to get along and other times were we have fought like cat and dog. He has done some terrible things to me like trying to ruin my dd christening and ignoring me in the street plus spreading lies about me. Now his DS is getting married and I'm the only one in a very large family not invited. Part of me knows this is a blessing because it means I can finally draw a line under trying to reconcile (why I have kept trying I don't know), but the other part of me is so hurt at being ostracized like this and I know the rest of my family are all buying new outfits and talking and planning it all meanwhile I'm just on the outside. I have thought about going nc with all of them until after the wedding, I have also thought about how to manage the questions about how do I feel etc and I plan to just say I'd prefer not to talk about it because I don't want to get pulled into more arguments and I genuinely don't want to go around slagging off anyones wedding day. How the hell do I cope with this?

I too think a holiday is a great idea. It also might make it easier for your Mum as she can say you are 'on holiday' if anyone asked where you are....and it would be quite truthful for her to say you booked before receiving an invite...

Although, on second thoughts, maybe she shouldn't say that because not going is not your choice. However it will mean you can do something enjoyable to distract yourself.

Agree with others that going NC with the rest of your family will escalate things in a really unhelpful way. I totally get that the situation is hurtful after you decided to invite him to your wedding. But, from what you said - that didn't go well. And even if you (& the rest of the family) see it as his fault, I bet he doesn't! So it's understandable that he wants to avoid the same situation for his son.
I think all you can do is to float above it - if the family are talking about it, remove yourself. If they ask you about it - I think a simple 'Its their decision, I hope they have a fantastic day - but I don't want to talk about it at the mo'. If you start to get into expressing how you feel, it will get back to your nephew, and I bet it won't sound how you meant it - Chinese whispers never end well.
And I would absolutely give a nice wedding present, and send a note to your dn in advance (maybe even now?) saying you'll be thinking of them & wishing them a wonderful day. And - ideally - that you are sad not to be there, but totally understand why it didnt make sense to invite you. Maybe you could ask if you could come over after the wedding & have a look at the photos?