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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

ahh I'm so annoyed at DP and im not sure why

43 replies

justbatteringon · 17/01/2015 14:08

My DP has decided he's going to compete in a local strong man competition he now has to travel to a neighbouring town to practice, it's a fiver a session. Now this morning his dad gave him a lift but he's getting the train home and then called to say he'll probably get a taxi from the train station A TAXI! He got one home last week and i had no issue cause it was pretty miserable last week but the sun is shining today ok its a little icy. There is also a bus service that I suggested he get I regularly walk everywhere to save on taxis and travel costs and I feel like he just fritters money away it drives me insane!
Anyway I just wanted a wee rant.

OP posts:

RJnomore · 17/01/2015 14:46

Is it about lifting or about muscle appearance?

If he's laying down muscle for appearance, cardio can burn that off - although a 1.5 mile walk might not be too bad. He might also be extremely sore though.

I don't think you are actually annoyed about Thr taxi - or at least you shouldn't be - you are annoyed that he is contributing nothing to the house or your joint life together, and my question here has to be - WHY are you in this set up? Do you earn 6 figure and hes in a 10 hour a week minimum wage job?

simontowers2 · 17/01/2015 14:51

He sounds an absolute fuck-wit this bloke. I have been told that blokes who use steroids excessively end up with 'testicles like sultanas.' Does he bash his chest and stuff - like Tarzan?

Original poster

justbatteringon · 17/01/2015 14:52

Well the drugs I have been promised are temporary to get him through this show in February after that it stops and if it doesn't I will be telling him to move else where.
But to be honest he does a lot around the house and with the kids and he's a brilliant dad I would struggle without him.

Really these are the only issues I have with him I just wanted to see if I was being unreasonable about the whole gym situation I think this week I'm just tell him to give me half his wages and that's the end of it.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 17/01/2015 14:57

He won't just stop using steroids

they are addictive in the way that other psychological addictions are

you are being mugged off here

Original poster

justbatteringon · 17/01/2015 14:58

Iwork full time minimum wage but currently on maternity leave so really at the minute we have the same income I actually don't know why I've allowed this to go on for so long I honestly thought we were quite 50 50 it's only today I've sat and worked it out I realised it's very much in his favour so that is going to change .

Wilson that story was my argument against him using them.

OP posts:

Thumbwitch · 17/01/2015 14:58

Aren't steroids illegal in this sport as much as any other?
And watch out for " 'roid rage"!

Definitely start getting some of his wages off him, ffs, he shouldn't be spending out money on whatever he likes while you pay all the household bills, that's just wrong!

Original poster

justbatteringon · 17/01/2015 15:09

Apparently they're the norm in these shows.

But you'll be glad to hear he's just called me and he's walking home. So there's something.

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 17/01/2015 15:31

if that was your only complaint then all is well then

Thumbwitch · 17/01/2015 15:39

That's something then! :)

Vivacia · 17/01/2015 15:39

All you're worried about is him getting a taxi. Well, if he's on a bulk, he's not going to want the cardio.

And, you're not worried about him being a druggie or him fleecing you, so, that's all fine then.

gamerchick · 17/01/2015 15:46

Man steroids? They turn into proper bad tempered buggers on them things

I hope that it's not how he is in bed you're with him for because it doesn't sound he enriches your life in other ways. That'll slide down the pan soon enough.

Original poster

justbatteringon · 17/01/2015 15:54

Yeah I spoke to him about the steroids when he got home he said he stopped because he didn't like using them.
I also mentioned that I thought he had more personal money than me and I think later we should sit down and see how we could make it more even. He said no problem.

I'm actually really glad I had my mini rant on here seeing things in a new light.

OP posts:

Ouchbloodyouch · 17/01/2015 16:03

I really do hope he has stopped the steroids.

Justtoobad · 17/01/2015 16:32

Gosh I think you have a lot to work out, but using steroids is not good...ask him if he'd be happy if you wanted to start being an anorexic as that both mess with body, mind and soul.

BuggersMuddle · 17/01/2015 17:01

How the actual fuck can your household possibly afford a gym membership for him, protein powders, oodles or meat, illicit steroids and weekly taxis when you're on minimum wage & he works part time? Genuinely asking this, as unless you're living rent free or something I can't see how this works out unless you're seriously scrimping elsewhere. Could he be building up debt?

I also can't see how - unless you're an elite bodybuilder - a gentle 3 mile round trip on a bike would have significant impact on muscular gains or retention, so I would call bollocks to that.

Norest · 17/01/2015 17:26

Well good to see he is seeing sense over the steroids and is willing to come to a more sensible outcome regarding finances.

googoodolly · 17/01/2015 17:31

I hope you're not going into your overdraft to fund his gym/bodybuilding habits, OP. If he wants to do that stuff, let him pay for it. Don't go into debt for him.

Original poster

justbatteringon · 17/01/2015 23:22

Buggersmuddle he eats a lot of chicken that he gets wholesale and eggs. It's not the muscle mass he's worried about he just couldn't be arsed to walk.
I think we can afford it now because we don't have to pay childcare god knows what he's going to do when I go back to work.

googoodolly I spent that overdraft long ago
If he just went to the gym I wouldn't have a problem it actually helps him gives him an outlet.
It's all the stuff that goes with it plus he's there 4 days a week 1-2 hours each time that's not including this new Saturday thing.

OP posts:

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