anything to worry about?

[nonamers]

Been with bf for just over 3 yrs - he moved in in November.

After a conversation a while ago and the odd nosey over his shoulder, I realise that every month or so, he searches FB for his last gf. I know things didn't end well between them after 3 yr relationship. He has told me before now he really doesn't like her due to things that happened (on both sides). It's the only ex he speaks about in that way.

I am of the opinion that once a relationship ends, unless ties, then you should move on. I have said to him before now that I can't understand why he still has any feelings (albeit negative ones) towards her - if there really isn't anything there then surely he would just feel indifferent?

I was cheated on by my ex partner and took time to get over that and have no feelings - good or bad - towards him whatsoever.

I know everyone is nosey about old flames now and again but this is something that sticks in my throat and I can't explain why.

Am I being paranoid or is he being a bit obsessive?

After THREE YEARS of them breaking up I'd say that he is a fucking weirdo.

I'm still on amicable terms with a couple of exes, and still chat to them on ocassion on facebook if something comes up, but it's rare.

I would find it insane if my partner was still actively looking at his exes page every month out of bitterness. If he was just interested to see how she was getting on it would be slightly irritating, but less so if they were still amicable. (If that makes sense?)

No, not everyone is nosy about old flames. At least, I never have been. Once a relationship is over, it's over. Usually for several good reasons.

If you saw his behaviour as stalking rather than idle curiosity, how would that make you feel?

Still, he appears to have altogether to much energy invested in something that's in the past, or should be, and this would be of concern to me. Three years is along time, and he should be past caring. It shows disrespect for what you have together, to say the least.

I'm probably going to be in the minirity here, but i personally don't think that it's a major thing. I'm still friends with my first GF on FB, it was 25 years ago so I don't see that as a problem. I asked my last ex to block me on FB so that I wouldn't be tempted to snoop. I think curiosity is just human nature, it certainly doesn't mean that he's pining for his old relationship at all.

I personally wouldn't worry about this.

Ask him what he'll do if he finds her... Get in touch and ask how she is? Post abuse on her profile? I don't think it's especially odd to look for an ex as a one-off (in which case you never would have known) but he's obsessing about her for some reason. That's not normal.

I have definitely searched for old boyfriends out of sheer nosiness. I thought everyone did it.

I wouldn't read anything into it.

Thank you - your posts reflect the two feelings I have about it.....

I think she's blocked him so he really 'see' her unless she unblocks. He is friends with his ex-wife and another woman he had a few dates with before he met me.

Most of the time I think - meh, he's being curious/nosey and I've had a look at my ex's profile a couple of times in the past. He sometimes has the tendency to 'not let things go' if he feels hard done by whereas I rant/rave initially but then over it.

Occasionally though I think like other posters have stated - 3 YEARS FGS? 5 since they split. Why the stalky interest/not so idle curiosity? Is there still feeling there?

We discussed it last year - told me he'd seen her at a work thing, they just said hello and that she'd unblocked him on FB (which was soon reinstated). Fair enough - bumping into someone would make you reminisce/curious.

He knew he was unblocked as apparently he checks every month or so?

I told him that I didn't understand that, why was he so interested in what she was doing etc if there was no reason/no feelings? I told that I thought that if you were over someone, you would just be indifferent. He said he actually dislikes her, which surprised me.

There is only one ex I repeatedly searched for on Facebook until he eventually joined and that was around 17 years after we split up. He's my husband now.
The rest who I can remember on occasion maybe once out of boredom but not regularly.

I would be concerned if my husband was doing it obviously.

However from what you've said I would be wondering how much of a pest he can be if she keeps blocking him.