how old was your OH when you had kids

[ratclare]

really curious ,because of age difference between me and DH

i am 35 and dh is 44 ,he was 40 when dd was born

He was 30 when ds1 was born, 31 when ds2 was born, 33 when ds3 was born.

25 w/dd1. 28 w/dd2.

I can't even remeber how old I was so to ask me this is stretching it it a bit too far I'm afraid!

And I was 28, 30 and 31.

I was 19, 21 and 24, Xp was 39, 41 and 44.

I will love it in the UK when we have more women older than their men than younger. Will that ever come?

I was 25 when we had ds which means dh would have been 26. There is only 9mths between us.

Don't see where age makes a difference at all myself, though, Xenia.

FWIW, I'm married to a man younger than I am, but it's b/c of who he is rather than his age.

It's good to see so many w/a big gap happy and healthy - so many times people say awful things like, 'It won't last'.

True at some ages. Not at others. I'm 44. I get older men emailing, 20 years older. I've been dealing with my dying and ill parents. I don't want to spend the next 20 years ordering chair lifts, dealing with incontinence pads and early dementia when I'm quite fit and young for my age. That puts me off someone of 60 because even if they're fit at 60 in 20 yeas time when I hope I'm fit at 60, 80 is not so sprightly and not sure I want 20 years as a widow. Younger men, who admittedly often look better, have hair and don't have the staturoy middle aged paunch, 30s, want or should want families and probably for that purpose need someone who isn't over 40. So age as an important issue does kick in quite a bit.

But I agree in principle - the person not the age that matters.

me 32, dh 45

Hmmm. Even at 40 I wouldn't be put off men b/c of their age - e.g., being twenty years older than I am. I'd have to get to know them first. Mainly b/c I can't live my life for twenty years from now b/c of course there are no guarantees.

Personally, I'd be more put off a younger man than an older one once I was no longer able to have kids, tbh. Unless he'd already had a family and was cool w/that.

Dp was 24 & i was 20 when we had our 1st Ds.

Xenia there is an upside to having an older man just think, when he reach 50, I can trade him in for 2 x 25 year olds

he was 47, i was 44, now 45

I had dinner with someone in the summer and the second time we went out I remember just taking a step back and thinking you look so so old, like a father not a boyfriend, wrinkles, no hair. I certainly agree about fathers. I much prefer men who've had children. That's almost a bigger gulf between people than age whether they're male or female.

It would depend on the person for me. Entirely.

But yeah, the gulf between having kids and not would put me off more than looks or age, tbh.

DP was 25 and I was 23.

dh 24 me 22

We were both 27. Dh turned 28 about a month and a half later.

When DS1 was born H was 32 & I was nearly 27.

DH was 24 for DS1 and 26 for DS2. I was 26 for DS1 and 28 for DS2. I am in the minority and am older than my man but only by 26 months.

We were both 29 when dd1 was born, both 31 when ds was born, and I was 32, dh 33 when dd2 was born.
He has always said he was glad to be a Dad before he was 30 (if only by 6 weeks or so). I have no idea why! Must ask him.
Our age gap is 8 months.

I'm 24 and my fella is almost 36.

I'm 36 and DH is 37, DS was born this year.