Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

You have small DC, so honestly, how often do you have sex?

49 replies

Millie3030 · 14/01/2015 22:43

I am currently watching a film called 'friends with kids' where one of the husbands said he was having sex twice a month, the other guy was really shocked saying "oh my god I didn't think things were that bad!" It made me think oh dear, sometimes my husband and I only have sex 3/4 times a month, but generally once or twice a week, we are early 30's both work and have a very active toddler.

Just wondering how often you have sex, when you have small DC, work, housework, DIY etc how often are you having sex?

A few of my girlfriends get a bit embarrassed when sex is talked about so I thought I would ask on here as we all don't know each other.

OP posts:

jonrotten · 15/01/2015 20:21

Oh and she is in a co sleeper cot and we have a 12 year old ds in a v small flat - so opportunity is limited!

Nocturne123 · 15/01/2015 20:23

I've two under 2 but I'd say once a week . I'd like more but I've arthritis which makes it a bit too sore sometimes

museumum · 15/01/2015 20:24

Most weekends. So 4 times a month. But we might miss one if ine of us feels crap so maybe 3x a month is more the average?

GothMummy · 15/01/2015 20:24

Oh its been about once a month if that lately. Late 30s, co sleeping toddler and 9 year old who is really bad at going to sleep in evenings. Its rubbish!

Smartiepants79 · 15/01/2015 20:26

We have 2 under 5 and we manage about 3 times a month.
I simply have very little libido/interest.
I get very 'loved out' at the end of the day. I just want to be in my own space.

CornChips · 15/01/2015 20:30

Last had sex late October.

DS is 4. We are both in our 40s.

MrsTawdry · 15/01/2015 20:31

Plarail how do you and your DH feel about that?

We're early 40s with two children aged 10 and 6...we do it about once a fortnight! I'm not that into sex but that's about right for my libido...when we do it I really like it....sometimes it's more often.

Lagoonablue · 15/01/2015 20:34

Hardly ever.

Brockbaby · 15/01/2015 20:41

Gosh - what varied answers - there does not seem to be a norm! My DH are both in our early forties with one DS (5) and we are lucky to manage it once a year. This is not in the least bit satisfactory as far as I am concerned but it is an honest answer at least.

slithytove · 15/01/2015 20:48

3 times since having 4 mo old (ebf, co sleeping, not sleeping through) dd. We also have a 21 mo old.

It needs sorting.

GothMummy · 15/01/2015 20:53

Its certainly not a situation that either of us are happy with. It leads to feeling as though you are house sharing with a friend who shares the parenting duties!

slithytove · 15/01/2015 20:53

Doesn't help that sex still hurts :(

GothMummy · 15/01/2015 20:55

Yeah that too. :(

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 15/01/2015 20:57

Moot point at the moment, DH can only do it in bed now, as it hurts his back otherwise, he doesn't like quickies either. I get too cold and bored with long sessions, so it's all gone a bit quiet, it needs sorting.

Philoslothy · 15/01/2015 21:00

Expecting baby number six, children range from under a year to doing A levels. Have sex every day normally, sometimes a little less when pregnant.

Allstoppedup · 15/01/2015 21:02

We have a co-sleeping, BF 13mo but are currently ttc number 2.

I have PCOS and so don't know when I ovulate/have periods (but got pregnant with DS without overtly ovulating!)

That means we are currently DTD every night or at the least every other night. To be honest, some nights we aren't massively up for it but we figure it's our best shot!

fluffyraggies · 15/01/2015 21:28

DD4 is 11 months. We resumed sex at the 2 weeks, and have been back in to 2/3 times per week (bar period) since. I didn't find BFing lowered my libido, and tbh tiredness doesn't either. I was ragingly horny while pregnant too.

sgood2412 · 15/01/2015 21:32

Gosh I feel awful writing this but maybe twice a month? We have a 6mo dd and I am ebf and co-sleeping. I also have recently been diagnosed with PTSD and on meds so my libido is near enough non-existent! :(

nilbyname · 15/01/2015 21:38

We went through a very dry spell where is was once every month or so, but we are getting back into it and making it a priority.

2/3 times a week since Christmas.

I love and adore my dh, but my libido pretty low, so I really have to make an effort to do it. Of course when we do have sex it's pretty fantastic! I'm a bit lazy I think.

Original poster

Millie3030 · 15/01/2015 22:40

I think it being dark and cold doesn't help us ladies to feel particularly sexy either, stubbly legs and slippers don't scream 'take me now!'

I wonder in the couples that have more sex are the ladies equally initiating it?

OP posts:

heartisaspade · 15/01/2015 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DillyDallyDaydreamer · 16/01/2015 00:02

Um once a month maybe, have four dds one still in bed with us and hardley sleeps unless On top of us shes 1, she doesn't nap during the day and my Dh works funny hours. It's rubbish but sure it will pass:)

Plarail123 · 16/01/2015 05:04

MrsTawdry my DH was present at the horrific birth that has lead to our 'problem' and unfortunately is probably more traumatised than I am. We live in a culture where having multiple wives/mistresses and visiting sex workers is the norm so he has an outlet if he needs it. He knows I am content for him to find someone else but he says he doesn't want to. We are otherwise pretty happy and 'normal' but I am conscious that he primarily stays around for our son and that won't last forever.

nilbyname · 16/01/2015 07:41

plarail I also had a traumatic birth with doc number 1 and we didn't have sex for a loooooooong time. Then we both had couples counselling together about the birth, that really really helped. I would recommend.

Flip

1 2