Hi,
I have been with my husband for 7 years, we have a little boy together who we both adore more than anything. We have a few major relationship issues. To cut a long story short, I have been ill for months, i'm getting stronger now but not perfect, my husband has back issues and gets grouchy, he also builds things up and creates issues from nothing and snaps and says hurtful things and then expects me to forgive him when his mood improves without an apology (or a decent apology) he sometimes does halfhearted sorry 'but's' and spends ages justifying his behaviour.
So life has been tough, he has been helping out when I've been ill, he's been helping out with my elderly donkey (just an hour twice a week) but he is resenting it and on Sat he didn't want to help so I said I would do it but then my son who is only 2 didn't want me to keave him as he was feeling a little off colour and tired (he wanted a cuddle) so I asked my husband to help out, he ranted told me I don't help out when I go there (I sometimes go for the ride in the car but not really well enough to do a lot) and I could go today or call my family ( they are not very helpful and due to another situation I don't feel comfortable asking them for help, so basically I said that it's no big deal and I have more important things to worry about to which he sarcastically replied "what could you possibly have to worry about!" I was offended, it was obviously a dig at being a stay at home mum. So he did go and help with a lot of ranting and moaning and came back and gave me a kiss like nothing had happened, I pulled away and said that he has ruined the weekend, he marched upstairs ranted more, we went to sleep that night, next day still not speaking, still no apology, still grumpy, wrote a very confusing letter justifying himself with a half hearted sorry but on it and I just ignored it, all I wanted was for him to actually be sorry and realise that he can't speak to me kike that out of respect, but he kept justifying his behaviour, saying it's understandable and then we go out as a family as that was what our son wanted (my husband wanted it to be just him and my son) we come back and he starts trying to talk but again he is justifying it, no apology, in the end I ended up short of breath, didn't want an asthma attack (not the 1st time I have had a severe asthma attack because of his atmosphere and picking at me when I was ill recently) so I asked him to leave, he left for 10 hrs in the car driving around with his phone off, when I eventually get hold of him, can't get him to apologise, he is deluded, comes home at 3 in the morning, apologises the next day and then the day after starts justifying it again and suggesting he moves iut and we have a relationship but separate lives !! I don't know, these arguments are getting more frequent and worse and he doesn't make an effort to apologise when he upsets me, he says ' you want me to grovel to you well i'm not doing it! ' Is it me or is this unreasonable, because he thinks that I am oversensitive and should just let it go as soon as he comes down off his mood but I can't just turn my feelings off when I have been upset.
Sorry to go on, honest opinions needed please...
xxxx