Can't see the light at the end of the tunnel

[SweetieXPie]

Hope I can get some great advice as I normally do.
My husband and I have been together since we were teenagers, have three young children and run a buisness together.
In the past two years we have had our third child, I had to give up my job (childcare costs outweighedy wage) we have moved and had to increase our mortgage, and DH works round the clock so as you can imagine we are under a lot of stress.
We have done nothing but row recently, we have ever increasing debt that he seems unconcerned over as his attitude is "we have money coming in".
I am very concerned we are living off credit cards and overdrafts and not paying much Of the debt each month, it is causing daily rows and I am terrified we are going to push each other too far and end up separating.

Please have any of you mums or dads been through a similar situation and come out the other end, ie the buisness has picked up or as the kids have got older, the pressure is less.

He has grown up in a family where his family ran a buisness, whereas I didn't and find it very hard to deal with income coming in, in dribs and drabs.

I just cant see the light at the end of the tunnel ??

Not precisely the same situation but, post separation, I was left in dire financial straits and fairly close to losing my home on a few occasions. I remember the stress and anxiety very well indeed. I also remember sticking my head in the sand.

What helped me, and what I'd recommend to you and your husband, is to get all the finances together - warts and all - so that you can properly judge the size of the problem. It may be better or worse than you think but you need to know. The light at the end of the tunnel will get switched on once you are working together on a resolution.

Thank you, that is a good idea.
I suppose I always banging on how much trouble we are in but maybe if he sees it laid out in front of him the penny will drop.
He is just so stubborn, he has left this morning, obviously still in a bad mood, whenever I bring up the money issues, all I get is "well you don't know how much is coming in to the account do you?"
And God forbid I forget to do something, he goes mad!!!
I get that he is under a lot of pressure but I just feel it's so unfair on the kids, they barely see him and when they do we are either arguing or not talking to each other!

On a practical level, you both need to know not only what's going into the account but also out of the account. You said originally you run a business and, if it's a joint venture, all the interested parties have to be up to speed. You need a business plan and, if the business plan isn't viable, alternatives have to be part of the discussion.

On an emotional level, it solves nothing anyone getting defensive or aggressive. It only creates distance.