Is your Partner/Husband romantic?

[HermoineWeasley]

Hello,

I have been a relationship for over a year now and my partner not being romantic is starting to get to me abit.

He is such a sweet, loyal guy who treats me like the only girl in the world for him.

He has never mentioned any other women, accept for his mother and sisters in front of my presence, he pays for our dinners etc but thats about it really.

He buys me roses etc. But thats it too.

I wanted to go to Harry Potter world, so he told me he'd take me for my birthday. He realised for a day trip, it'd cost alot of money so opted out of taking me and saying it was ''upto me'' if i still wanted to go. I was abit annoyed so I said it doesn't matter and left it.

He hasn't gone out of his way for me, but me being a romantic sort, will go see him, if i see something that reminds me of him, I'd buy it etc but I've stopped myself doing that now because I don't get it from him.

I think he's just very hard-nosed. He's on a 50k job but he's really careful with his money. He and his family were really poor when he was younger so I can why he is the way he is.

But I know he cares for me alot. When I was poorly, he went out of his way to look after me and buy me medicine and drinks to make me feel better.

He just doesn't seem to know what romance or wooing a girl entails.

I am his first relationship by the way so i don't know whether that matters. I just think you are either romantic or not.

Hermione, did he spend the same amount on your birthday but just not on the thing you wanted?

Agree, we all have present budgets!

Dh is generous and romantic.

But he's terrible when I'm sick

So....

Thanks FolkGirl, he is. I will tell him so when he wakes up. :)

Hermione - What you are saying - when you boil it all down, is that you want him to buy your affections rather than earning them. That's a really sad attitude to have, and makes you come across as entitled and immature. I'm not saying that you are those things, but it's how it comes across. Was his salary an attractive quality in your eyes? Would you still feel the same way about him if he lost his job tomorrow?

Would you rather date a man who bought you diamonds and rubies every week, but was never there when you needed him? Or someone who took you on lavish holidays three times a year but had a roving eye?

Genuine tightness (never getting a round in, sighing over every single penny, etc) is very unattractive, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

"stuff" isn't what makes a relationship work. You'd probably forget about a bunch of flowers he bought you after a few months, and there's no lasting effect on the relationship. Him looking after you when you are ill is something you remember, and that's the sort of thing that impacts relationships. Even if you forget about it after a few months, you will remember the fact you can trust him, that he is someone who is there for you, and will put himself out for you.

Just wanted to add that I didn't mean that post to come across quite so harshly.

I used to think that "trinkets" were important too, as it showed someone was thinking about you when away from you and off doing their own thing. There have been periods of our relationship where my partner has bought me expensive gifts on a special occasion (although I would never dream of feeling "begrudged" if he hadn't), or small trinkets (like little flowers in pots for 50p) because he knew I liked them, even if he found it weird. Thing is, over time you realise that actually those things don't mean anything. It's how the person acts and treats you that is genuinely important.

These days we don't do gifts at all, except for birthdays and christmas (and then we have strict budgets). But that's inconsequential compared to the fact he will, for example, - without even mentioning it to me - come home to spend time with me rather than going out with colleagues for three nights in a row.