Hi,
I'll try and stick to the points.
I left an emotionally, controlling long-term relationship early last year. I fled with my three children one day, when an argument, instigated by him got out of hand- for the first time, I thought he was going to hit me.
I went to my parents house and have remained there since.
I never reported incident as was too scared at time
He never was bad to children, and he insisted he had children half the time. I couldn't contest (another element of the control and me being conditioned I guess)
After a few months of separation, I went to the police as he'd been harassing me by text. He was given a caution.
Gradually my eldest child is getting the brunt of his moods. Resulting in my children saying they didn't want to go back to their dads. He was verbally abusive to eldest.
I contacted SS and asked if there was anything immediate they could do to stop my children going back to him until we could resolve things. They said as he also has PR, they can't stop this unless he came to physical harm.
I spoke to ex about this, and he went mad saying kids too sensitive and I turning them against him and basically played it down. He said he will be having access as normal. School said they can not refuse him if he comes to collect from school.
Also, another issue. We are joint tenants on our property that I fled. The council will not rehouse me, because I can not prove DV took place. The only solution is he signs a relationship breakdown form and they will give him a one bedroom flat and I can keep ours. He refuses and they can't enforce this. They will not allow me to take the one bedroom even though I begged and said I have no other options and would rather that than be stuck in one room with my three children (one if which is secondary school age). They do not take into account we have shared access as its not a formal agreement.
I cannot afford to rent private, even if they gave me the maximum housing benefits, and refuse to move out of the borough as my work is established here, my children's school, and my family, whom I need more than ever after my ordeal.
I have been in touch with women's aid, solace, my local mp, my gp, ss, independent law centres to see if I qualify for legal aid - I don't. List is endless.
How do I protect my children or give them a good quality homelife? Now my kids say they do want to see their dad. But, they are too young to realise what he is doing. It took me many years as an adult to realise.
Please help!
Thank you