Ex says he doesnt have to pay maintenance as I get tax credits..

[LynseyPynsey]

Long time lurker, first time poster. Thought I would ask for some advice. I'm a 21 year old single mother to my son who will be 2 next week.was I currently work full time in a trainee position so currently only earn around £13K a year. I receive CTC and WTC which both go towards paying my sons £970 a month nursery fees.

I also moved back in with my mother when I split with my sons dad last May as the council wouldn't house me as I'm not a priority and private renting is very expensive (think £900+ p/m for a 2 bed unfurnished flat in a not so nice area)
I currently pay my mum £200 a month board and also top up gas and electric on an as and when needed basis and also keep the flat stocked with food. I share a bedroom with my son.

My sons dad sees him when work permits, he normally has him 2 days out of every 10. This can be any day of the week as he works shifts. He works shifts and earns around £35k a year. He stays in the 3 bedroom his parents helped us buy when we were still together, mortgage is around £550 a month.

Ex claims that because I get CTC, WTC and child benefit for our son that he doesn't have to pay me maintenece. He said he would rather quit his job than pay me money.

Am I being unreasonable in wanting to receive maintenance money? I don't NEED it right now but I was hoping to somehow move out of my mums place at some point and would definitely need the extra money. He does sometimes buy clothes but the majority falls to me. Any advice?

My income is same as OP's and I don't qualify forHB because I have more than 16k equity in the 4 bed massive marital home that stbxh is refusing to move out of or sell. Me & the kids are stuck in a tiny 3 bed ex local authority house in a shitty area. I don't have the emotional energy or money to force a sale through solicitor so I'm just having to suck it up. Op is this your situation re HB?

Lovely person, yeah just let all of us pay his share for bringing up his child, makes me so mad..........he sounds a delight.

It could be the OP's age, if 21 year olds with a dependent & low income can't access HB this country really has a screwed up system.

Op, it wouldn't matter if you were a multi-millionaire (although clearly you wouldn't be so bothered about the cash and certainly wouldn't get tax credits!).

You are the resident parent, and as such he has to pay maintenance based on his wages. What you earn/get in tax credits are absolutely nothing to do with him, the maintenance is not to fund your lifestyle, but to contribute to the costs of raising his child.

House is in his dads name as ex doesn't have the best credit history he is apparently getting it transferred to his name this year as his credit has improved.

Not sure why the lady said I'm not entitled to HB as every calculator I've done online says I am. I might request another meeting with a different housing officer.

She definitely has it wrong if you don't gave equity in that house then. I really would ask for a review.

you wouldn't currently be entitled to housing benefit as you're paying rent to a family member:
england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/housing_benefit_and_local_housing_allowance/what_is_housing_benefit/housing_benefit_if_renting_from_a_family_member

We discussed it as though I'd be renting a 2 bed at the local going rate Gilbert

My ex is exactly the same. He refuses to contribute because they 'get enough.' The reason they get enough is because I provide for them.

He doesn't work and never will because he won't pay for me to 'watch daytime television.'

He earns plenty of money through wheeling and dealing but undeclared earnings so he is ok but my children will never see it.

Honestly op, you can't change that attitude. They are poor excuses for fathers. I do not understand their mindset.

In that case, pretty sure she's got the calculations wrong.

These men make me so angry on your behalf. I can't imagine what goes through their mind to make them think their actions are justifiable.

I think maintenance payments are no longer counted towards income when calculating your income as well.

I am the last person that could be considered a benefits basher, but I think its absolutely fucking disgusting that he thinks the government should be paying for his child. You and he both made this child, yet he thinks hes now absolved from providing and is leaving it all up to you and leaving you relying on top ups from the government. Fuck that.

The old CSA calculator worked out at something like 10% of gross earnings if the NRP had the child 2 nights a week. So the maintenance he should be paying is quite substantial.

And he's a prick, obviously. Why would he not want to pay for his child? Because he's annoyed about giving you money. Hate men like this.

He absolutely definitely has to pay 15% of his take home pay unless he has other children or has DS overnight more often.

You getting CTC has no influence on this whatsoever.

Pursue it 100% this is not for you it is for your son. You need to be able to house, feed and clothe him long term, and things change. Get every penny you can for him.