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Original poster

Is he my boyfriend?

24 replies

ScrambledEggAndToast · 13/01/2015 13:47

So this is a real first world problem Grin

I have been seeing this chap for about 8 weeks. We are both single parents with one child. We see each other as much as we can and speak and text on the days we can't meet up. However, we haven't had the boyfriend/girlfriend conversation.

Do you reckon I should just assume he's my boyfriend? Or shall I wait til Valentine's day and see what happens. I'm pretty sure he's keen, he bought me a 32" flat screen TV for Christmas!

OP posts:
Notgoodwithwords · 13/01/2015 13:49

Personally I wouldn't have 'that' conversation it can scare some men off.. Just go with the flow Grin

Justmuddlingalong · 13/01/2015 13:50

Ask him.

aglassofmandms · 13/01/2015 13:51

No I would say you are still dating/seeing someone

doobyscoo · 13/01/2015 13:51

I agree just go with the flow, he probably bought you a TV so he can slowly move himself in and watch endless tv with you.... ahh romance! Grin

Original poster
ScrambledEggAndToast · 13/01/2015 14:03

Will just let things carry on for now then, seems to be going well though. It's awkward because we are both single parents and neither of our exes help out so we only have our mum's to help with childcare. Combined with him working shifts and me working normal office hours it can be awkward to see each other Hmm Oh well.

OP posts:
Twinklestein · 13/01/2015 14:06

Not sure if you've had sex yet, but it would be very odd if you could have sex and not ask what your relationship status is.

Twinklestein · 13/01/2015 14:06

I say ask - I mean ask him how he sees it. How do you see it?

Joysmum · 13/01/2015 14:07

At some point you'll have the 'are we exclusive' conversation, at which point you'll be boyfriend and girlfriend, rather than just dating.

Original poster
ScrambledEggAndToast · 13/01/2015 14:13

We have had sex, that's a recent development Wink He also informed me that he had taken himself off PoF (where we met) within about three weeks of meeting.

OP posts:
MadeMan · 13/01/2015 14:31

Don't ask him, you might rock the 'free telly' boat. Smile

talbotinthesky · 13/01/2015 16:47

If he took himself off POF I'd say he thinks he's your boyfriend.

CaramelPie · 13/01/2015 16:56

I would just assume at this stage.

I wouldn't see the need to have an 'Are we exclusive?' chat, unless it crops up naturally. This isn't Sex and the City Grin

Pickuupinmynova · 13/01/2015 17:04

That conversation could definitely be quite cringey, I'd leave it be. If he's taken himself off POF, you know he's not looking anymore, so he's your boyfriend.

Original poster
ScrambledEggAndToast · 13/01/2015 17:10

GrinGrin Sex and the City!! My life couldn't be further from the truth will keep the illusion though

From the responses I've had probably best not to say anything. Just enjoy my telly Grin

OP posts:
Twinklestein · 13/01/2015 17:34

If you're having sex with a man and you want to know where you are, then ask him! I don't understand this timidity and fear of 'scaring him off' - if that scares him off then he's not worth having.

teapuddles · 13/01/2015 17:45

Some posters would be calling him their partner by now.

I wouldn't stick a label on it if I were you.

JaceyBee · 13/01/2015 18:17

I've been seeing someone for 8 months. He's met my mum, and my kids. He stays over a fair bit. We have shitloads of sex. But I still wouldn't call him my boyfriend, although tbf he hasn't bought me a tv Wink I call him my lover, which I like because it irritates my mother!

I'd just chill out about the labels if I was you, it's merely semantics IMO. If you're happy you're happy and good luck to you Smile

Joysmum · 13/01/2015 18:23

I don't understand this timidity and fear of 'scaring him off' - if that scares him off then he's not worth having

Totally agree.

beth2015 · 15/01/2015 12:24

I am in the same situation... dating this guy, not interested in anyone else, he bought me a Christmas present (unfortunately, not a big tv!) but we've not had that convo yet!

I'd say it sounds like he's totally into you and he prob thinks of you as his gf- so you could have 'the talk' and it would be fine, or you could just wait for him to bring it up..... as for the TV... you have a keeper! lol

intlmanofmystery · 15/01/2015 12:37

Do you want him to be labelled as your boyfriend and you as his girlfriend?? You sound pretty into each other so is the label really important to you?

jacey - I agree, anything to wind up mum and yes it works well!

getthefeckouttahere · 15/01/2015 14:39

Before you ask him you could always get your dad to screw the telly onto the wall really securely. ;-)

Ask him i say!!

YourHandInMyHand · 15/01/2015 21:45

Watching with interest as have a much newer guy on the go myself and am looking for advice as I'm woefully out of touch with dating.

Norland · 15/01/2015 21:59

Do you go out? Pubs, cinema, restaurants etc. ?
Are you/he shagging anyone else/living with anyone else?

If the first line = yes and second line = no, then he's your boyfriend (he'll consider you his girlfriend)

As he's a man, he isn't wondering if you're his girlfriend, he knows you are and assumes you think the same way and right now he's wondering when he's going to get his next leg-over. Men are like that you know, very simple creatures.

YourHandInMyHand · 20/01/2015 23:16

I like that answer norland! Grin

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