Verbal abuse, Emotional abuse, wiith threats = divorce?

[Twentysevenagain]

The love of my life does all these and swears constantly in front of my son. He s also face books women behind my back and pretends it's for professional reasons. I am thinking of divorcing him. Can anyone recommend a brilliant divorce lawyer? And how much can I ask for in living costs as a London Mum with a one year old son? I scrimp and save so much that the reality is that I don't know how much others live off realistically. I've not been spending money on myself for years and I need to start living again. But how much can I claim?

Do you mean benefits wise? If so google benefits online calculator and that will help you out.

If you mean from your marital assets then that depends on what you have in savings and if you own a home together plus child maintenance.

Yes, you need to divorce him, and you should consult a divorce lawyer with your questions.

Perhaps stop thinking of him as "the love of your life", too: he threatens and abuses you, his abuse will be affecting your son, and he is also fishing for other women. Whatever you have with this man, it is NOT love.

Good luck.

I'd suggest that, given that abuse is a factor, you should contact Womens Aid 0808 2000 247 and ask them to recommend you a lawyer locally that has experience with divorce cases that involve domestic abuse. Not all of them do and the advice on how to proceed needs to be tailored to take into account that you STBXH is likely to be hostile and possibly dangerous.

In terms of finances and setting up solo, as a married woman with a child, you have certain rights and there are various conventions. If there are any assets (property, savings, investments) acquired during the marriage, a share of those assets belongs to you. Your child's father is obliged to support him financially. Co-parenting may mean that your earnings can increase.

For an idea of the benefits available the website www.turn2us.org.uk has a very good benefits checker. Living costs in central London especially can be very high and part of your planning around the divorce may have to include relocating to somewhere cheaper. Freedom from abuse often involves a few sacrifices.

"how much can I ask for in living costs as a London"

Just on this specific point. So called 'spousal maintenance' is increasingly uncommon. Former spouses, unless they are old, infirm or at some other big disadvantage that prevents them from working, are largely expected to earn their own living going forward. The amount of maintenance for children is usually calculated as a proportion of the Non Resident Parent's disposable income rather than determined by the cost of living.