Tell me these feelings are normal when relationship ends!!

[Homepride1]

My relationship ended at Xmas after the most awful year for us mostly his behavior and attitude towards our unplanned pregnancy and the biggest factor his drinking (posted lots recently about this)

So up until yesterday I had been feeling fine but since then I have been tearful, rejected, lonely and I guess just remembering the good times we had!

Last year when I was 8 weeks pregnant we had a huge bust up after I decided to keep baby with or without him and a few days later he sent me a heartfelt email declaring his love for me and the unborn baby, admitted he was a alcoholic, admitted it has destroyed every relationship he has had and promised to sort it and started to attend AA!

Well this was only short lived only went for few weeks but did rain in the drinking until the day I gave birth and he basically then drink everyday, our baby is 3 months old now!

Thinks have got steadily worse and the final staw came after he was drink and was arguing with me to carry the baby around upstairs etc!

So now I know 100% that I made the right choice, that's not the life I want or the life I want for my children but guess hearing him say yesterday that he loves me but he is never going to change and he can't give me the relationship I want has made me wobble a little.

I look at our beautiful baby and just can't understand how if he loves us like he says he does why didn't he get help like he promised last year for us

Who knows. You have done by far the best thing by leaving. Saved your child the horror of growing up with an alcoholic parent.

Well done you.

Thank you

I know when it comes to drink nothing is straight forward but it does hurt that me and the baby didn't mean enough and weren't worth the fight!

Him saying he can't be what I want/need and will never change is basically saying he picked the drink over us

He did. What a wanker. Your daughter will have a much much better life now.

I know I shouldn't take it to heart! At the end of the day he is a alcoholic but it still hurt thinking we wasn't worth the effort

Thankfully I was spared the horrors of growing up with an alcoholic in the house but you've only got to read someone like Clarissa Dickson wrights book to see you made the right choice.

It's an addiction. It's not that they are choosing drink over you. They can't do without it to function at all. My friend after a very long marriage left her husband because of his addiction. He couldn't give up either. Was dry for a little while and then hit it again till it killed him.

Sad but your child deserves a better life. He might love you but I feel he is a drowning man clutching at a straw.

I think you need to go n/ c until you feel stronger.

"just can't understand how if he loves us like he says he does why didn't he get help like he promised"

Alcoholics love alcohol. They love it to the detriment of everything else, including themselves, other people, their own children, their job..... even life itself. They don't get help because... they love alcohol. They don't stick with the programme because... they love alcohol.

It's not something they consciously do 'to' others very often. It's usually not done maliciously. Others are simply the collateral damage in their pursuit of the thing they love most.