amibeinghorrible I could have written your post. My STBXH and I have been together for 15 years, have 2 DCs and in the last 11 years he has not been able to hold down a job. Always has an excuse. So 4 years ago after he had 'lost' his job again he decided, without consulting me, that he was going to start his own business and has been freeloading ever since. He has put no effort into actually making the business work and any money he does make he keeps.
I earn decent money, enough to maintain our household but not much left over for holidays etc. while he sits on his arse watching TV. I do everything with the DCs, house, dogs (3) etc. and then get complaints from him that he embarrassed by the state of the house!!!!! So when I tell him to do something about it he says there is no point because we will just mess it up again.
He has no idea how much our outgoings are and has no interest in finding out or providing for his family.
On 2nd Jan I told him it was over, I have had enough. Apparently it was a complete shock, he did not see it coming at all. Too busy dozing on the sofa!!!
I made it too easy for him but I didn't know how to force him into getting a job without damaging myself and the DCs in some way. He still wont get a job, is determined he can make a go of the business but is saying he can't afford to move out 
I was a strong, independent woman 15 years ago and I feel like a shadow of myself now but I am determined to find myself again without him hanging on.
Be strong! PM me if you want to, I am happy to be your sounding board. 