About 18 months ago a mutual friend kept asking me to go on a date with a guy she knew from work, I said no as I was hankering after someone who was basically just a FBuddy and treated me appallingly (hence why she was so keen to set me up) Anyway, the decision was eventually taken out of my hands when this guy re-located for work and went back to his home country.
Just before he did though he added me as a friend on Facebook and we started messaging each other, it was only after this that I realised A) How hot he was and B) That he had the EXACT type of personality I go for, very dry, very witty, slightly arrogant but sexy with it. We sent flirty messages back and forth for a month or so and before I knew it, I was actually looking forward to hearing from him and a bit disappointed if I didn’t. He also used to give me advice re FBuddy and tell me ‘I deserved more and kick him to the kerb’ blah blah. He was a help to me. A friend, if you like.
He was selling his house in the UK and had to come back over for a flying visit for completion etc, he said did I fancy going for dinner whilst he was back. I was pretty heartbroken about FBuddy and thought it might be good for me to get out and forget about him for an evening, I also did want to see this guy in person so agreed.
Meeting him was really odd, it sounds so cringy and corny but it felt like I’d known him in a past life, time just flew and we had an amazing evening there was also A LOT of sexual tension! He was staying in a hotel and I gave him a lift back to it, we kissed and OMG is all I’ll say. He tried to persuade me to go in with him and stay the night as ‘We’ll probably never see each other again.’ Basically, he was after a s*ag! I REALLY, REALLY wanted to, but in my head whilst we were kissing I was thinking ‘If I go there with him, I’ll end up liking him more and this can’t go anywhere so best just leave it as a kiss.’ He said it was a shame that we hadn’t gotten to know each other earlier, I agreed but cest la vie.
Anyway, this was nearly a year ago and off he went back to his home country for good. We spoke for a bit after he went back but it dwindled off (by him and I never chase so left it there, though he also said to me that he doesn’t chase girls, ever, so we’re a great pair) However, I thought about him every day and regretted not just throwing caution to the wind and DTD that night.
About 3 months later, I ended up meeting a guy off Tinder who just happens to be in the same profession as this other guy. He added me as a friend and one of our mutual friends was this guy. Anyway, the rest as they say is history and I have been with this guy now for 8 months. He is amazing; good looking, intelligent, caring, supportive, the list is endless and I AM happy. I did get a message from this other guy when my relationship status changed and he made a joke about how he must’ve given me a taste for people in this profession and that it was a small world etc. He was jokey but there was a slight barb to his tone. He follows me on Instagram and Snapchat etc and often ‘likes’ things of mine, but that’s all, no contact.
I then got a random message from him in the summer, it was a group message and my OH was included in it (even though he doesn’t really know him that well) saying he’d be back in the UK on a flying visit for 3 days soon so let him know if anyone wanted to meet up for drinks etc. It was weird as I SO wanted to see him again but we hadn’t spoken properly in months and I wasn’t sure it would be appropriate given that I had a BF. I then thought, well if he wanted to see me surely he’d have asked me personally and directly but he didn’t. His trip came and went and I didn’t hear from him or see him. I wondered why he’d bothered to include me in on that group message in the first place!
I can’t explain why, I am a very level-headed person normally when it comes to men and relationships, but I honestly have thought about him every day since. I have had numerous dreams where he has featured and they are so real, I can almost smell him. I almost hope to hear from him, but obviously I never do and why would I to be fair, he lives in a different country FGS and we’ve met ONCE.
Anyway, last night his relationship status changed, I did the inevitable and had a look at her FB profile and she is gorgeous and he seems happy which is good. However, I felt so despondent and gutted?! I couldn’t stop thinking about it and was snappy and abrupt with my OH which I know is awful.
This morning I feel just as gutted and I know I am being ridiculous. WHY can’t I get this man out of my head?! I would never normally be so affected by someone having only met them once, never.
I’m aware that I have built all this up in my head into something it isn’t. I’m aware that thinking about him, hoping to hear from him etc is utterly ridiculous, I really am. But it doesn’t stop me.
I love my OH, I AM very happy with him, but I guess if I’m honest, he doesn’t challenge me in the same way this other guy did. We don’t have the same chemistry between us. In fairness though, I’ve never felt that chemistry and connection with anyone else either.
It doesn’t matter what chemistry etc I thought was there, it obviously didn’t bother him that much and he lives in a different country now FGS. I’ll never see him again, I know I need to remove all trace of him and forget about him totally.
I’m not really sure what I hoped to gain from this post, nothing really, I think I just wanted to get it down. I guess a part of me will always be regretful that I was so wrapped up in knobfeatures and didn’t meet up with/give this guy a chance earlier, maybe if I had things would have turned out differently. Perhaps not.
Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?