The 'script'

[PuffinsAreFictitious]

This is going to sound utterly cheesy, but is completely factually correct.

My best friend's husband is having an emotional affair with a woman he met while he was away on a course, about a year ago. While working away recently, he announced that the marriage is over, he hasn't loved her for a while now, and feels he's going through the motions. You know the drill.

I seem to remember reading on this board about a script that men (and probably women) who are having affairs follow when they are being unfaithful, which I've told my friend about, and she would like to have a look at it.

She's not a MNetter, and, at the moment is feeling very fragile, and couldn't cope with some of the more 'robust' elements of the board right now, but if someone can point me to it, I can print it off for her and share it. I would be eternally grateful for anyone's help here. My lovely, lovely friend is hurting

I think it was on a web page by chump lady, I could be wrong but try googling her and see.

I think this is the one:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1527705-Midlife-crisis-this-is-the-script

Brilliant Walk! That's the badger, forgot it was about midlife crises, but will fit the bill perfectly.

Felicity, that site is also great, will send it to her.

Feel sorry for your friend. 'The script' is really just the weaselly things people say either when they are caught cheating and trying to wriggle out of it in an attempt to stay (he/she meant nothing ) or they're ending the relationship but trying to dodge any blame (I haven't been happy for years) or they are cruelly dangling someone on a string & keeping all their options open (I don't know how I feel about you any more, don't know what I want)

Which one is your friend being treated to do you think?

I really wish I could show this to my friend. She has just reconciled with a partner that could have written that. I watched him go through every step in the build up to them separating. He is still doing it now. I would put money on him only being back just now because he seen her getting more independent and moving on.

A mixture of B and C Cogito.

Having read through the script, he's playing it to a tee. My friend doesn't think he's slept with her yet, but he does shitty shitty things to her, like skyping her at midnight on NYE, and then starting a 4 hour row because 'he's allowed to have fucking friends, dammit'.

He's also got a great line in gaslighting her, she keeps calling me to check that something she knows happened, happened, if that makes sense. Stupid things like, who was at a party.

There's a book called The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat. On US Amazon here

Just a quick update.

I sent her the MLC script thing, and she says that it describes him to a T, so she has a much better handle on what's happening, even if she is still pretty powerless to stop him being a dick.

So, thank you, wise women of Relationships. Yet another woman you have given some armour with which to deflect twattishness, even if it was through me.