Advice please - how to be more proactive and please DH

[WantToGoingTo]

Hi all, odd one here, and I admit I am mainly at fault.

DH and I only recurring theme, not really an argument as we are not the arguing types, is about the time I get up in the mornings and my help with dinner/lunches etc.

DH hops right out of bed when alarm goes off, is downstairs eating breakfast within 15mins and normally makes my lunch for me while he's at it. I find it v v hard to get up in mornings, and rarely have time for breakfast. I just can't seem to drag myself out of bed! I know DH would love it if we could have breakfast together and but no matter how hard I try I can't try hard enough, I don't know what is wrong with me :( you would have thought getting out of bed wouldn't be that hard!

Secondly is dinner. DH does most of all with occasional help from me the cooking. I don't dislike cooking, but he does everything fast, it takes me ages, by the time I've decided what to cook and started to prepare he would already be sitting down to eat. Same with washing up - he doesn't mind doing it (no, really, he even does it at my parents when they have a dishwasher!) and eats dinner so fast by the time I've finished eating he has done all the washing up (not entirely intentional)

Basically, I know I need to contribute more round the house by doing more cooking, and doing lunches etc. how do I do this when he always does it before I do as assumes I won't get round to it? He gives me an easy get out clause really. You could just tell me to stop being so lazy and get on with it. That is essentially what I got to do. And I spose if I made lunch the night before then wouldn't be such a rush in morning. The thing is now I ask him if it is ok if x y z he does/I don't do and he has now taken to saying ''do what you want to do'' except then gets annoyed when I actually do (and he doesn't say it in a mean/sarcastic way). It would be better of he told me at the time he would really like help etc instead of storing it all up, but then again I suppose he shouldn't have to ask for it in the first place.

Dunno just wanted other opinions. I am sure you will all call me lazy, but it feels better to write it down.

Firstly, I would make sure you don't have any underlying things like anaemia making you extraordinarily tired.

DH only needs about five hours sleep, I need about 12 (seriously, am poorly at the moment, which is being treated, but I'm knackered.

I go to bed about 9, he is more like midnight! He gets up a lot earlier than me and makes me a cup of tea in bed, I drink it and go back to sleep, sometimes til 10am. It isn't stressing our relationship at all, as someone once quoted on here "marriage should be a competition of kindness" - which I think is a lovely and wise guideline. I make sure my DH knows how much I love and appreciate him by telling him when we DO see each other and texting him randomly during the day. Although we don't see as much of each other as we used to we still feel the same about each other.

Admittedly in the past I was a bit of a lark and usually at my desk by 8am so things have changed but life is all about rolling with the punches at different stages and I would say you are at the stage where you need a bit of extra TLC and I think your DH should be providing that rather than feeling resentful. I don't think you're being lazy at all.

One thing that worries me, if your DH wants your time devoted to him now, what will he be like when your priority is the baby? It also concerns me that your DH underestimates the toll pregnancy can take on you, he needs to know this and anticipate how tired you may be after birth too. It's worth sitting down and having a long chat and being honest with each other and discussing what the future looks like and how you want to deal with this. Having a young baby and lack of sleep can really stress a relationship so you need it to be as strong as possible.

Sorry for the essay, your post struck a chord with me! I hope you sort it out. Congratulations too, the tiredness is worth it all in the end