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Original poster

Selfish Ex

7 replies

Thaigal · 15/10/2006 15:47

My 2 kids go and stay with their father every other weekend, they go on the saturday and come home on the sunday.

For the first few months I took the kids and picked them up again but then I started to resent being the one that kept having to do the 'run-around' and didnt think it was too much to ask for him to either pick them up or drop them off, especially since he only see's them once a fortnight and never even bothers to phone them inbetween.

For the first few months of me insisting on him sharing the travelling he made up all sorts of excuses such as his girlfriend had no petrol in the car etc! In the end I said I would either pick them up or drop them off, he WOULD do the other...so for a few months I took them there and he and his girlfriend brought them home.

Now with this new car seat law they have another great excuse, "we have no car seats" and now they tell me they're buying a new sports car and car seats won't fit in the back of it anyway so they'll no longer be able to help out with the travelling.

I'm angry because yesterday he said he would be dropping them off then today he txts out of the blue asking what time I'm picking them up , I have a splitting headache, I'm aching all over so obviously coming down with something so could really have done with a rest today before the whole 'school thing' starts again tomorow.

Am I being unreasonable here?? Is it too much to ask for them to share the travelling?

I've now told them that I will no longer have the car after this month as I cannot afford the MOT or Insurance (which is true) so god knows what will happen now.

he acts as if he's doing ME a favour by having them at all.

(also, it makes me laugh how they can never afford petrol but can go out and buy a sports car!)

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 15/10/2006 15:56

He sounds like a bit of a tosser who has never understood the responsibility of being a parent.

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I think if you have to do all the fetching and carrying then they should compensate you for that.

What would they do in an emergency if they had your children, and needed to go out and had no car seats? Sounds like bolleaux to me.

edam · 15/10/2006 16:15

He's a tosser as VVVQ points out. Ask him straight out: 'Do you want to see your children? Why do you always make excuses about travel, then?' Or tell him that if he wants to see them, he'll have to come and get them himself.

Somanybabyseagulls · 15/10/2006 17:14

I was always under the impression that is was the father's responsibility to collect and drop off when having contact, maybe totally wrong tho!

dmo · 15/10/2006 21:44

so does he never take them out in the car?
what do they do for 2 days each fortnight?
if he cant get off his lazy behind tell him that the children wont be coming as you have already told him you have no car soon
a sports car is not the actions of a responable caring father

Surfermum · 15/10/2006 22:07

My dh has always done the collecting and returning when his dd comes to stay, and when he first started doing so we went and bought a booster seat. No question. Dh's x has dropped her here when she has been coming to the area anyway probably twice in 8 years. She has been to this area to visit family and driven home an hour before dh, but not told him so he's had to make the two hour round trip too. She even once wanted dsd to go to a family party during one of her weekends with us - and was shocked when dh said "that's fine what time will you collect her". She expected dh to do all the running around and it wasn't just up the road from us it was an hour's round trip. Dh did it, of course, for dsd.

So no, you don't sound unreasonable to me. If he wants to see them he needs to make the effort. My dh would walk over hot coals to make sure he got to see his dd.

UnquietDad · 15/10/2006 22:13

My brother is a man with the opposite problem - he's the one who does ALL the fetching and carrying. He's been separated/latterly divorced for about 12 years now; lives 2 counties away from his ex and ALWAYS has had to do the weekend run. She NEVER meets him halfway - literally or metaphorically.

If he wants his child to come to his house, rather than some public space - and she can't always stay - he has to go there and back, and there and back, sometimes all in one day. That's about 10 hours of driving.

Don't know why I'm posting this, other than just to prove both sides can be as bad, I suppose. I'm sure his ex-w isn't typical, as she is an evil b*tch who has always used child access as a weapon.

Original poster
Thaigal · 23/10/2006 12:42

Would it be out of order for me to expect him to pick them up AND drop them off again? after all it's only once a fortnight (I do more than my fair share the rest of the 2 weeks!) and I no longer have a car until January.

I'm sick of him taking the piss

OP posts:
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