Without going into too much detail as I don't want anyone who knows me in RL to be able to identify me I didn't have what I'd class as a normal childhood.
I have two siblings one who is close in age (ds1) to me and one who is 7 years younger.(ds2)
The sibling who is close in age suffered exactly as I did. I won't say we were neglected but I do think that my parent's couldn't be bothered with us and we were the smelly kids in school. Our grandparents had a massive role in our upbringing and in all honesty provided us with what we needed, clothing, decent food and sanctuary. We spent a lot of time at their house from babies to even going after school on weekends. We choose to stay over there as much as possible.
Neither parents were affectionate or loving in fact my dad had a bad temper and myself and Ds1 often felt the end of his belt, slipper, hand or whatever else he could reach. We weren't naughty or difficult children it was simply we had pissed him off. My mum sat by and did nothing to stop and on occasions even instigated or encouraged. As I got older I used to throw myself in front of ds1 to take the beating instead and eventually as I got to a teen they stopped as I started standing up to my father and threats were made to report him.
Ds2 whilst living in the same home as us had an entirely different upbringing ds2 was mum's superstar and she adored and doted on ds2 and would never have allowed my father to lay a hand on them. They were given all the love and affection in the world and was even applauded if they attacked ds1 and myself which they did frequently. If I reacted to this my mother would hit me resulting in several black eyes. Ds1 and myself now have a rather strained relationship with ds2 who has turned into a spoiled, entitled and frankly horrible person who wouldn't spit on you if you were on fire but entirely the apple of my mother's eye.
Of course both parents now deny this ever happened. Their idea if my childhood to what happened is different. They deny the beatings or anything else and in fact my mother insists that ds1 and I had a fantastic upbringing.
My DH knows most of what my childhood was like and admits my mother can be a fruitcake at times (his word).
I've always buried the issues for sake of a quiet life but I'm due our dc1 soon and it's causing all sorts of issues.
My mum expects me to leave dc1 with her when I eventually return back to work. I have categorically told her no. I'd rather she went into nursery and wouldn't leave her in my mums custody 4 days a week knowing how I was treated. Of course my concerns are dismissed and I've been told I'm cruel to even think of putting a baby into nursery.
Ds1 will look after dc1 some days but again my mother has hit the roof and can't understand why I would choose ds1 over her and keeps going on at how she gave us a wonderful childhood.
I've told her I'm not prepared to discuss it any further it's my child and my choice but now she's turning nasty making spiteful comments to me and to others about me and making me out to be a drama queen.
I've been told that she has plans to be in the hospital when I'm in labour and has told people I'm insisting she be there. I have not and would not and she has now told people she has booked time off work when the baby comes because Dh and I will need lots of help as neither of us will cope. I'm furious about these comments.
Normally I'd let them wash over me and just avoid her but I don't know if it's the impending arrival of my own dc1 but all the resentment about my childhood is bubbling to the surface and I'm quite angry that she making me out to be a mad women and worse an unfit mother to be.
Sorry it's turned out to a long post and probably very ranty I had to get it off my chest