i have never loved and hated someone so much..

[20onto50]

i am sick of my husband. literally the shit he puts me through actually makes me physically want to be sick. after baby i suffer from depression, still do and she is nearly 7 months old. he just f*cked everything up! i was in labour and cleaning my house so that i could bring home my baby to a clean house. whilst i was in the hospital he had destroyed the house, rotting food, dirty clothes everywhere, cat poop on the bed!!! then his mother was extremly abusive to me. i broke down sobbing the moment i walked in.

i couldnt take care of baby, i would sleep all day and at night i couldnt sleep. i wouldnt eat good, i never showered, i was a state! just recently i started getting better because of a friend of mine who ha supported me and my husband just f*cked everything up again!! i am back to the way i was before! i am so angry and so hurt!! i broke down before and just started screaming at the top of my voice. i am sooo effing fustrated!! i have had enough of him i hate him!!

he wont listen and he argues with me or will just ignore me!! we are poor we have such little money we cant afford to eat. he will heat a whole room up and then leave the doors open and its cold again. ive begged him not to. i cant get any sleep coz when i do he neglects baby. she has huge sores on her skin because he leaves her in dirty nappies! this is the 4th time in 2-3 months this has happened! i am the one who has to fix it! this last time the whole area where he nappy is is red and peeling and scaley. she cries when i touch it. i just started crying my eyes out. i cant do this anymore. he caused me to be in this terrible situation. he doesnt work and for over a year ive been begging him to work! he only just started looking. ive supported the whole time. we live in a 1 bed council house that is too small for us with no money for electric or gas or to eat. in absolute filth and because of him my baby keeps getting ill. he wont listen. i hate him so much. i dont know what to do anymore. i cant do this on my own.. i love my daughter more than my life but he is causing me to be mentally unwell..

Dear, dear 20. I don't say this often, but you really need to get him out of your home. He is a leach financially and emotionally. He is also abusing your daughter by neglecting to care for her properly. How hard is it for someone to change a dirty nappy.

I understand you're exhausted, but talking from experience it will be so much easier for you to take care your dd by yourself without having to worry if there will be heat, food and general necessities. You will be happier just having that 150-200 lb burden removed from your responsibilities.

Consider all the advice ^^ as there are many of us who have been exactly where you are and have raised our children and we're successful in doing so.

Please get rid of this leach and begin living and happiness will shortly follow. Wishing you well and sending virtual to you and your dd. Please do not put this off, your dd deserves to be warn and fed properly as well as you do.

Send him packing as soon as you can and see your gp for some medicine to help you with your emotions/depression. x