Anyone know how to make the shame go away?

[snowflake02]

From rape/sexual assault. I'm even ashamed of feeling shame. Hoping to see my therapist this week but the money has run out really. Are there any good books I could try instead? Thanks

Thank you. Just been sat here wondering if I should just try to bury it all again, but you are right about dragging the shame around. I know that is not a good idea really. I need to face it and deal with. There is no magic wand unfortunately.

No magic wand but honestly the freedom - and power- that comes from shifting it is worth it.

A book called The Power to Heal was recommended to me by my first counsellor over 20 yrs ago & I still refer to it now, not specifically to deal with shame issues - it covers that & many more aspects post-abuse. Well worth a look IMO.

Please try not to bury it (I just did a wry smile at that because I still haven't got to the point where I don't automatically try to bury it!) in the long run it just comes back to haunt you. I've learnt this the hard way. Outself is very right, you do literally drag it around with you & it sinks you.

The EMDR & therapy, whilst being really awful the first 24 hours after, is actually working for me. I'm a few sessions in & I can tell already that it is helping with the shame & guilt. The thought of sleeping with someone has been abhorrent to me since leaving my ex after he raped me but recently I've found myself thinking that I might actually be able to do it without feeling shameful. I'm 35 so I don't want to commit to a life of celibacy just because 2 bastard men decided to abuse me.

If there was a magic wand I'd buy it, but there isn't so we just have to get there by our own volition.

Perhaps I should look into EMDR, sounds very helpful.

idlevice thank you for the book recommendation. Who is it by? I can't find it at the moment.

Hi Snowflake,

I would recommend two books to you. The first is Rescuing the 'inner Child' by Penny Parks. This is an excellent book for adults that were sexually abused as children.
The second book is Thrive by Rob Kelly. This is an excellent programme. I am a therapist and I use this daily with many of my clients. But don't take my word for it. Look up,the many reviews on Amazon.

AreYouThriving thank you, they both look very helpful.