Hes finally gone!!!

[Errrmmcantthinkofone]

My horrible bastard of a ex has finally gone and left us.

We had been together 5yrs. The last 2 have been hell.

He has mentally emotionally and pysically abused me. He has put me down so many times my self esteem & confidence are in bits. He has left many times before but i always begged him to come home as i thought i needed him and he would be a prick so it was easier to be with him and put up and shut up.

My mental health has suffered so much i have thought about suicide but couldnt leave my dcs.

I have nearly had a breakdown this last week with him enjoying every minute, he had caused a row and left home and turned it back on me.

I cant take anymore, if i let him carry on i will breakdown and i would loose my dcs. They are the only decent thing i have.

I no the house will be more chilled out no more walking on egg shells.

I just need to sort out the practical side of things now. Im sad (a little bit) but thats for how things could have been. I feel calm and releived.

[NorksAreMessy]

You WILL be OK
We will help you to be OK
Your children will be OK

Stay strong

[DraggingDownDownDown]

Your head is all over the place at the moment so you need someone to take charge and help you through. You will feel so much more in control and able to cope.

If you have no-one in RL to help, let us MN help.

I will start the list:

Change the locks.
Check the walking route to school and time it will take.
Stop any direct debits/payments to his bank accounts.

[davejudgement]

You are going to be fine, and when you look back you'll wish you'd done it sooner.

You self esteem will get better and better in direct relation to dumping this disgusting man from your life and looking after yourself

[FolkGirl]

Firstly, you will be ok :-) you just will. I was, we all were.

Secondly, reach out to those people who are just people you know to say hello to or colleagues. I had no one and the kindness of strangers on here encouraged me to do so and it was amazing. Some of those people became good friends, others became 'stepping stones' to people who became great friends. But not one single person I reached out to rejected me.

2 years on, me and my life are unrecognisable.

And yours can be too. Be brave!! :)

[PedantMarina]

Good to hear you're planning. My earlier suggestion of a trusted person in the house whilst you bring the lock barrels down to DIY place can be got around if you have another way to secure the door, for instance, if you can bolt one lock whilst the other one is out.

And what of the money? DON'T GIVE HIM A PENNY!!! Please tell us you see the sense in this. Feel free to go on the offensive: demand the car in exchange for all the free rent/utilities/food he's been enjoying - after all, that's the core of the agreement you'd had. That should highlight that you don't owe him a thing.

Get tough. He's taking money out of the family that your children deserve to be safe, warm, fed. Doesn't that piss you off?!? It should.

[daisychain01]

Errrm please get the school involved, only in terms of letting them know your current situation, lack of car and having to take your DC to school. It will give you an important source of moral, and possibly practical, support as they will be very understanding about your situation and coping on your own getting the DC to school.

Do any other children from the school live near you who may be able to help with lifts at the moment, just to get you through the first difficult weeks without a car? Once you are back on your feet you can always return the favour

[Stripyhoglets]

Look, he has had you committing tax credit fraud if he's been living there but didn't let you declare it as he didn't see why he should pay for his own family . But for him it means your house isn't his house and the things in it are yours no this. Ring police for theft if he takes stuff. Do not pay him a penny and claim child maintenance ASAP. You can do this and once you are free from him things will be alot better for you all.

[Stripyhoglets]

*Yours not his