My youngest sister has been in a relationship for 10 years and they have a beautiful 4yo dd.
Her fiancé to put it bluntly is a twat.
He has ruined virtually every special occasion for her.
On her birthday last year he told her friends he didn't love her, calls her a 'dog shit whore', a couple of days ago he stayed up drinking a full bottle of whiskey and when she woke up he told her he was leaving her and that her last boyfriend told him that she 'was the filthiest fuck he'd ever had'
He had hit her before and he had said disgusting things to her in front of their dd. It's horrible and their dd doesn't seem to even notice now as its 'normal' for her.
He behaves in this manner fairly regularly (every couple of months), walks out on her, goes to his mums for a couple of days then calls my dsis crying and telling her he loves her and he's sorry.
I must point out that dsis is not scared of him at all.
He works occasionally but goes mad if my dsis uses any money that he's earned, he told her he doesn't want to work at all.
He takes ad's and has threatened suicide before. It's not only when drunk he behaves in this way.
When they are not falling out he lies in bed most of the day and she brings him his meals and then takes away the dirty plates. He never does anything with their dd, the only time he puts effort in is when she tells him she's had enough, then he is 'super fiancé and 'super dad' for a couple of weeks, he then reverts back to normal.
I have asked my sister why she stays with him and she told me it was because he wouldn't cheat on her. I have tried to show her the signs of emotional abuse and she agreed he ticks all the boxes but won't tell him to go.
I have tried explaining the effect it will have on their dd and she will probably end up in a similar relationship and she agrees but still won't end it.
She says she is just too soft and when he gets upset she feels too sorry for him.
It's getting to the point now where I'm getting annoyed with her for not putting her child before him. I feel like being very blunt with her and telling her I'm sickened that his feelings come before her dd.
She is not staying because she's frightened (I could understand that).
To avoid drip feeding, he hates her going out with or without him, he is 13 years older than her and nothing to look at whereas my dsis gets a lot of male attention but has never even flirted with anyone whilst in his company and doesn't really flirt when he's not there.
Should I just leave them to it? If it wasn't for my gorgeous and very clever little niece I would have probably done that by now.
Sorry for the rant but she's just taken him back after his latest outburst and she was telling me (and others) before she took him back that it was definitely over, now she is embarrassed she has taken him back so avoids speaking to me and the rest of our family.