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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Do you find that in some weird way it's always YOUR fault, not HIS?

17 replies

emkana · 14/10/2006 11:15

Was talking to friends yesterday about this - we found that with our dh's, they always manage to work around the facts in a way that makes us at least partly responsible.
Is your dh/dp the same?

OP posts:

covenoveneer · 14/10/2006 11:16

yes see here .

suzywong · 14/10/2006 11:19

make room on the bench there are a LOT of us in the same club

It was my fault and ergo the ruination of his life for the last 10 years that I...... oh let me just give some blanks and then the peevish, awkward little sod can fill them in himself

SoupDragon · 14/10/2006 11:26

Yep.

NotQuiteCockney · 14/10/2006 11:28

Um, but in a couple, when things go wrong, aren't they nearly always both people's fault?

NotQuiteCockney · 14/10/2006 11:30

Shit, I did this to F&Z once, too ... this isn't a thread to be reasonable is it, this is a thread to say bloody men on, right?

Can people put up signs, or something?

divastrop · 14/10/2006 20:59

erm...my dp accepts responsibility when hes genuinley done something wrong.it freaks me out.its not normal.i always assume hes justsaying it to make me feel better and blame myself anyway

aaronsmummy · 14/10/2006 21:04

Well in our relationship dh always twist things so that I am in the wrong or that whatever the problem is - it is my fault. It probably is my fault for marrying a control freak!!

expatinscotland · 14/10/2006 21:06

I went out w/men who always tried to twist things round so it was my fault.

I knew better.

And dumped people like that before I got too involved w/them.

I was NOT interested in someone who did not possess a sense of personal responsibility.

Surfermum · 14/10/2006 21:08

Yes. It was my fault that he got a speeding fine. Apparently if I'd "let" him buy a sat nav he would have known the camera was there. Err, no, if he hadn't been speeding he wouldn't have got the fine.

And many, many other examples. Don't get me started

Zippetydoodahzippetyday · 14/10/2006 21:08

Oh yes. Only thing you can do is bat for the other side love.

KBear · 14/10/2006 21:09

No, it really is always my fault because ...

(LONG PARAGRAPH ALERT!!) although I have 487 balls juggling in the air I did NOT notice that the car was almost out of diesel and we might have run out at any moment and it might have been a DISASTER. But here's a home cooked freshly prepared meal and a tidy house and two knackered children where they've been out all day at parties and ballet etc and I got my dad to look at the car cos it's making a funny noise and I took those boots back to the shop and I picked up your prescription and I washed your pants and I've worked most of the week and I've phoned your mum and I brought you breakfast in bed today but YES THERE'S NO EFFING DIESEL IN THE CAR AND IT'S MY FAULT because you've driven it all week and I drove it for 8 miles today.

cocopopshater · 14/10/2006 21:19

Yes, this is my ex's favourite game. Cant take responsibility for anything. All has to be my fault.

kdinas · 15/10/2006 00:53

my DH always says sorry first.............fecking annoying!
I want to win!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm......what is he up to? Maybe it is to make me feel guilty....ahhh yes......so I thinkit is all my fault! Ha!

wafer · 15/10/2006 01:27

yes, dh likes to fantasise, I think that all bad decisions in retrospect were made by myself and takes credit for those good, but I know he doesn't really believe it and I can certainly stand up for myself!

NatalieJane · 15/10/2006 03:48

DH is pretty good at taking his part in any argument we have (although it isn't very often that we argue TBH) but, sometimes when there are other things getting to him, he does blame me. He walked into the living room the other day with two glasses of pop in his hands, somehow managed to spill both cups all over the carpet, and it was my fault somehow, but it took him less than 2 seconds to apologise for snapping when he saw the look on my face! He is my best buddy, he can take things out on me - up to a point!

saythatagain · 15/10/2006 17:11

It's easy - ABC - all bases covered...Men are born with this amazing ability. I'm staggered that you haven't all just accpeted it and moved on in your easy-peasy lives Grrrr

tallulah · 15/10/2006 17:23

I was going to start a thread on this very subject. DH took something out to the car leaving every door in the house open and then it was my fault that the dog got out. Then it was DSs fault and the dog's fault.

Today he spilt gravy all over the new carpet and somehow that was my fault as well.

I'm sick of it

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