OK, this is really thanks to the post (by nettle tea?) quoting from Lundy's book re abuse. The first abuser profile is called Mr Right and reading it was a lightbulb moment. My father fits the profile so completely (the only deviation being that he has not been violent) and it explains so much. My siblings and I have always struggled in our relationships with him. Moreover, none of us are as close to our mother as we would like to be because of the way he is. They have been married for over 30 yrs. I think deep down my mother knows that he is not normal (she sometimes confides in me how difficult he is) but has almost been brainwashed to accept things.
My question is - and it's aimed at older Mumsnetters - is should I tell her about this book and how my father is in fact an abusive person (still struggling myself to realize that is in fact the truth). or should I leave well alone?
Ps if someone could link the Abuser Profile thread, it completely explains my father. Such that , when I starting reading the profile to my DH, I had only uttered 2 sentences when he said that's (father). and as I continued it, he was also amazed at how accurate it was.