Oh dear....I've just written the following..

[OHolyShite]

draft email in my inbox as a way of cataloguing the night's events. Because DP always turns things around/lies to make the narrative suit his agenda/version.

'I hate the sound of your horrible patronising know it all voice.

I hate how you talk to me. Criticising and sniping and undermining to try to to make yourself feel superior. I had changed the baby's last 3-4 nappies and held him/entertained him/fed him (as is natural and not at all an inconvenience) for well over an hour while you sat on the floor drinking whiskey and posting on FB on your phone and coughing and spluttering like you had fucking consumption.

When I handed the baby to you after the last nappy change you had a go at me for not buttoning his babygrow. Do up his babygrow yourself? Yes, have a go you lazy fucking hemorrhoid.

I don't fancy you. I'd happily never have sex with you again. I don't miss it (Oh I miss sex, just not sex with you).

Oh and the hat you bought to cover your bald head makes you look like that annoying bell-end from The Gadget Show. Minus the charisma. A walking mid life crisis.

I want you to move out. The only thing stopping me is being a SAHM and worrying I'll be fucked financially. I know I'd be a brilliant single parent. '

Not good is it? To say the least .

Reads like a New Year's Resolution to me, OHoly.

I live abroad, but from reading mumsnet you should not be broke or homeless if you separate. Apparently you can get a free half hour with a lawyer, so check that out and there is benefits calculator somewhere, sorry I don't have the link.

Why be miserable?

I agree, sounds like a New Year Resolution. Get rid. Life's too short. Agree also about you not being homeless or starving either. We have a benefits system, use it! Separate while your baby is young enough not be hurt by it and if you have any older children, still, the sooner the better. It's crap, but do it now & this time next year, you'll be happy, stay with this prat and you'll be even more miserable, no contest really is it!

You think it would be harder than the life you have now??

Don't hand your baby over to this drunken pig again. You don't have to stay with him.

Wait a day - review, maybe slim it down a bit - then perhaps send.

If there is any exaggeration in there it gives the recipient the opportunity to dismiss the entire missive...rather than take it seriously

(Always the same advice with email.....)

You don't have to give him a reason to separate, other than that you want to.

I agree you should explore the benefits and child tax credit system as your safety net. Good luck.

Yes, time to start planning the next chapter of your life, and it sounds as if it will be without him.

It sounds as if your DC is very young. Are you still on maternity leave? When can you go in to discuss return dates and get your new life plan moving?

I laughed at some parts of this. Not your situation but the language you used. "Lazy fucking hemorrhoid" love it

It's horrible. Don't send it. Give peace a chance... x

I am presuming you are not married, and live in UK. Do you own your home jointly (is your name on deeds/mortgage/tenancy ) . Without marriage cert your chances of anything from 'd' p are pretty slim to nothing with exception of child maintenance. Have a look on benefits calculator for your local authority/who you pay council tax to. THat will give accurate amounts for housing benefit and tax credits for your area..good luck sounds like you are well rid.

I think what you wrote shows someone with a lively imagination and sense of humour and great intelligence. These are all valuable assets you have to be very much aware of. And obviously you and your baby deserve so much better.
Make 2015 a year to change this situation. Find out all you can about leaving/separating from him because you know in your heart you will never be happy.
Think of you and your baby and make a new life for yourselves. It won't be easy but it damn well will be worth it.

It does sound as if you've gone past the point of no return. Fast forward 10 years. Do you still want to be with him. No. Start making plans for life without him.

My exh did the hat thing, too. And he started saying "awesome". And he bought a baseball jacket and started behaving like a fat, balding, 1950s american teenager...

Do yourself a favour and get rid. It will only get worse. This time next year, you can either sit and write another one, or celebrate a year of freedom with your baby.

The guy from the Gadget Show works in office near mine, see him most days and believe me he had no charisma. Plus he eats his lunch in a really weird way that makes me feel queasy!