NC for this. Not entirely sure what I expect to get out of this thread. Just somewhere to get my thoughts out I suppose. I have RL friends I've shared some things with but they all have their own agendas and there are just some things I don't want to admit to.
Last quarter of 2013 was the worst time ever. A year ago I was a mess inside. In August I finally told my H things our relationship wasn't working for me. He has tried to change and succeeded to an extent, but he still doesn't really understand how bad things are for me.
I am 49 soon and by 50 I want to be in a happier place. Right now, I think that means ending our marriage. That's a big decision and it will take me time to get there.
I have to go now - we are out tonight and I'm in the bathroom getting ready, but the rest of my life starts here.